Lord of the Rings Musical Songs
by CrystalFNfire
Summary: More songs for all of you! They're just take offs of songs from Broadway musicals that I think the characters of Tolkien would sing if they were in a musical. NEW SONG: LOVELY LADY
1. Bows and Arrows

**Bows and Arrows**

Sung by: Legolas

Take off of "DANCE TEN LOOKS THREE"

A CHORUS LINE 

**Legolas:**

Looks: ten, Fight: Three.

And I'm still just a little prince,

A messenger for my dad since.

That ain't it, kid. That ain't it, kid.

"Looks: ten, fight: three,"

I like to die!

Left the forest and

Called the smiths for

My appointment to buy…

Bows and arrows

Bought myself a fancy pair

Tightened up the elf hair.

Did the knives with it,

All that goes with it!

Bows and arrows!

Had the bingo-bongos done.

Suddenly I'm getting fellowship tours!

Bows and arrows won't get you jobs,

Unless they're yours.

Didn't cost a fortune neither,

Didn't hurt my appearance either.

Weaponless and free,

I would only get to go with strays and losers

Beggars really can't be choosers.

That ain't it, kid. That ain't it, kid.

Talked to Lord Elrond,

"How do you do!"

Life turned into an

Endless medley of

"Gee, we really need you!"

Why?

Bows and arrows!

Where the scoreboard once was bare,

Now you can look and there are kills there.

You have got 'em, hey.

Top to bottom, hey.

It's so good!

Just a dash of wood,

Shake your new feathers and you find,

Bows and arrows can change your life.

They sure changed mine!

Get all weapons done,

Frodo, take my word.

Grab some wood, c'mon.

See the wizard on

The dark wood of Mirk

For

Bows and arrows.

Fellowships or companies

What they want is whatcha see.

Keep the best weapons,

Make the rest weapons.

Elves or hobbits,

I've never seen it fail

Prince or citizen or your life,

Bows and arrows,

Yes, bows and arrows

Have changed…

My…

Life…!


	2. Putting the Ring On Is Not a Crime

**Putting on the Ring is Not a Crime**

Sung by: The Nazgûls

Take off of _"Dancing Is Not a Crime_"

FOOTLOOSE

**Witch King**:

Putting on the Ring is not a crime!

**Nazgûls #1 and #2:**

Yeah!

**#3 and #4**:

Yeah!

**5 and 6**:

Yeah!

**7 and 8**:

Yeah!

**Witch King**:

Ever since the ancient times,

If anything, bearers had

The right to fight under the moon

And to be invisible all night.

**Nazgûls**:

Ah-ooo!

Invisible all night.

**Witch King**:

The kings of the second age,

Back before the Third age,

They were able to be

Invisible with glee.

Or they'd make all the rings

That the Dark Lord brings.

Or maybe..

**Nazgûls**:

What?

**Witch King**:

When the elves would sing,

So they'd go thumping on an anvil

**Nazgûls**:

Thump, thump, thump, thump

**Witch King**:

Anything a man wills!

**Nazgûls**:

Yeah!

**Witch King**:

And just like that

**Nazgûls**:

In nothing flat.

**Witch King**:

There'd be elves wearin'

Men wearing, dwarves wearin'

Sauron wearin'

**All**:

Rings!

**Witch King**:

I coulda told you that would happen,

They'd disappear

**Nazgûls**:

They'd disappear

**Witch King**:

Every time they had the gear,

Whether on the finger

Or on their ear,

They found a reason to give a

Ring to their dears

And they'd disappear!

**Nazgûls**:

Wow!

They'd disappear!

**Witch King**:

Yeah, disappear!

**Nazgûls**:

Yeah!

They'd disappear!

**Witch King**:

Oh, disappear.

**Nazgûls**:

Disappear!

They'd disappear!

**Witch King**:

Yeah, disappear!

**Nazgûls**:

Disappear!

They'd disappear!

**(Horse hooves raps**)

**All**:

We're wraiths.

**Witch King**:

So if you've heard about

Morgoth, with his Simarils, you will

Remember Sauron and

Isildur, son of Elendil.

**Nazgûls**:

Isildur?

**Witch King**:

Y'know, King Izzy?

**Nazgûls**:

Iz!

**Witch King**:

He got an award outta

Breaking good swords.

**Nazgûls**:

They longer they are,

The harder they fall.

**Witch** **King**:

Didn't want Narsil

Or his kibble, but

**All**:

Check this out!

**Witch King**:

He loved being 'nvisible.

(_Pantomimes putting on ring_)

**Nazgûls**:

Careful, king,

There's the Ring,

Now what were you saying

To the Halfling?

**Witch King**: (_producing a history book_)

Right here, in black and white,

Says he was trying to let go with all of his might,

**All**:

Trying to let go on top of Mount Doom!

**Witch King**:

But Isildur wasn't doing it

To save Middle-Earth from doom.

**Nazgûls #1 and #2**:

No!

**Nazgûls #3 and #4**:

No!

**Nazgûls #5 and #6**:

No!

**Nazgûls #7 and #8**:

No!

**Witch King**:

It might sound odd,

But Elrond is just a big fraud!

He didn't want anyone to disappear!

**Nazgûls**:

What a loon!

**Witch King**:

So he tried to toss the gear,

**All**:

Whether on the finger

Or on his ear,

**Witch King**:

He found a reason to throw

The rings of his dears,

So they couldn't disappear!

**Nazgûls**:

No way!

**Witch King**:

But disappearing doesn't always make you do nasties,

Just take it from the Witch King of Angmar, laddies,

**Nazgûls**:

Okay!

**Witch King**:

There's a time to laugh

A time to weep.

**Nazgûls**:

Boo hoo!

**Witch King**:

There' a time to plant

A time to reap

**All**:

And there's a time to disappear,

**Witch King**:

It says it right here, right here,

Isildur disappeared,

And it was good!

And if the Witch King tells you so,

Then what have you got to fear?

**Nazgûls**:

Uh! Got no fear!

**Witch King**:

We only wanna please our master,

And I can betcha everyone one of you

Knows that bastard.

I betcha do.

**Nazgûls**:

Uh huh.

They do.

**Witch King**:

I betcha do.

**Nazgûls**:

They say they don't

But we know they do.

**Witch King**:

People been disappearing

Since Valar know when,

And that's the way

It should be again.

So let's disappear!

**Nazgûls**:

Hal-le-lu!

**All**:

Every time we have the gear, Disappear!

Whether on the finger

Or on the ear,

We find a reason to give a

Ring to our dears,

And then disappear!

Whether on the finger,

Disappear, disappear

Disappear, disappear

Whatever the season or reason

It's pleasin'

To disappear!


	3. Sauron and the Ring

**Sauron and the Ring**

Sung by: Sauron, Frodo and The Voice of the Ring

Take off of "THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA**"**

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA 

**Sauron**:

In sleep it calls to me

In the past, it came,

That ring which calls to me,

And speaks my name.

And do I dream again?

For now I find…

The ring of my making

Is there inside the Shire.

**Voice of the Ring (to Frodo)**:

Be invisible again with me,

You'll win your bet.

My power over you

Grows stronger yet,

And though you turn from me

And shun my kind

The One Ring is there…

Inside your mind.

**Frodo**:

Those who have handled you,

Want you once more.

I must be stronger now,

And take you to Mordor.

Your spirit and my hand

In one combined,

The One Ring will over-

Take my mind.

**Chorus**:

It's there…

The Ring of Sauron!

Beware…

The Ring of Sauron!

Voice of the Ring: 

In all your fantasies,

You always knew

This choice of mystery

Could break you.

**All:**

And in this journey,

Of which the Eye is blind…

The Ring of Sauron,

Will overtake your mind.

**Sauron**:

I want my RING!

**Frodo**:

He's there…

The Lord of the Rings!

Noooooooo!

**Sauron**:

The Ring! I need the Ring!

**Frodo**:

Noooooo!

**Sauron**:

The Ring!

**Frodo**:

No!

Sauron: 

Bring me the Ring!

**Frodo**:

No!

No!

AUUUGGHHH!


	4. The Enemy's Eye

**The Enemy's Eye**

Sung by: Hobbits, Nazgul, and Aragorn

Take off of: "SOMEBODY'S EYES"

FOOTLOOSE 

**Aragorn: **

Careful what you do

The enemy's on to you

Careful what you do

**Sam (To Aragorn):**

Careful what you say

I don't trust you today

Or any night and any day

**Aragorn (To Frodo):**

The enemy's hiding in the great unknown

**Frodo: **

Uh huh

**Aragorn: **

And every time you think that you're alone

The Enemy's Eye is watching

**Sam (To Aragorn):**

My eyes are watching you come and go!

**Aragorn: **

Somebody's out there, waiting for us to show

You've got no disguise From the Enemy's Eye

**Hobbits:**

The Enemy, Enemy, Enemy, Enemy's Eye

Whoa-oh

The Enemy, Enemy, Enemy, Enemy's Eye

Whoa-oh

**Aragorn:**

Careful how you speak

Turn the other cheek

Be careful how you speak

**Merry (to Pippin):**

Think a naughty thought

On top of Weathertop

Then, friend, you've bought a lot of trouble

**Aragorn:**

Somewhere the Enemy has a perfect view

**Merry and Pippin:**

Yoo-hoo

**Aragorn:**

And they're just dyin' to invade our room

**Merry and Pippin:**

Room!

**Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Aragorn:**

The Enemy's Eye is watching

The Enemy's Eye will never close, never sleep

The Enemy's after the Ring that you keep

What is your disguise…from the Enemy's Eye?

**Hobbits:**

The Enemy, Enemy, Enemy, Enemy's Eye

Whoa-oh

The Enemy, Enemy, Enemy, Enemy's Eye

Whoa-oh

**Aragorn: **

Never yell too loud

Never leave our crowd

**Sam:**

Never put it on

Or your doom won't be long

**Merry: **

The Ring is here, for you to hide

**Pippin:**

Think twice before you step outside

**Everyone (except Frodo):**

The Enemy Eye is watching

The Enemy Eye is following every move

The Enemy is waiting to bring you your doom

**Aragorn:**

The Ring satisfies

**Merry and Pippin:**

The Enemy's Eye

**Sam:**

Ain't no alibis

**Merry and Pippin:**

The Enemy's Eye

**Aragorn:**

You've got no disguise

**Everyone (except Frodo):**

From the Enemy's Eye

**Hobbits:**

The Enemy, Enemy, Enemy, Enemy's Eye

Whoa-oh

The Enemy, Enemy, Enemy, Enemy's Eye

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh


	5. The Point of No Return

**The Point of No Return**

Sung by: Gollum, Frodo, and Sam

Take off of "THE POINT OF NO RETURN"

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA 

**Gollum**:

You have come here!

To destroy your greatest urge!

To destroy my lovely precious, precious

I have brought you that my precious and I could merge

In your mind you've already succumbed to It

Dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to It.

Now we are here with It,

Think second thoughts.

You've decided, decided.

Past the point of no return

No backward glances: our games of chasing are at an end

Past all thoughts of "no" or "yes"

No use resisting, abandon Ring and give it to me while you can

What raging fire shall burn us all?

What desire begins your fall?

What sweet sound of the Ring lies before us?

Past the point of no return

The final threshold, what fire will make us burn?

Beyond the point of no return?

**Frodo: **

You have brought me to that moment where we fight

To that moment where everything else disappears to nothing, nothing

I have come here hardly knowing the reason why

In my mind I thought I was here to destroy the Ring,

But here I am, defenseless and now I am here,

No second thoughts, I've decided, decided

**Gollum (Wrestling with Frodo): **

Past the point of no return,

No going back now, our little game has now at last begun

Past all thought of right or wrong

One final question: how long should I wait, before It and I are one?

When will my blood begin to race?

(The two are nearly falling off)

When will the flames come and consume us?

(Gollum falls)

Past the point of no return,

The final threshold, We have fallen, so stand and watch us burn.

We've passed the point of no return.

(Dies)


	6. Think of Me

Think of Me

Sung by: Arwen and Aragorn

Take off of "THINK OF ME"

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA 

**Arwen**:

Think of me

Think of me fondly when you've said good-bye

Remember me

Every so often, promise me you'll try

On those days, those traveling days

When you are far away from here

If you ever find a moment

Spare a thought for me.

And though it's clear

Though it was always clear

That this was never meant to be

If you happen to remember

Stop and think of me.

Think of Rivendell where the trees are green

Don't think about the way things are going to be

Think of me

Think of me waking, silent and resigned.

Imagine me,

Trying too hard to keep the Undying Lands from my mind

Think of me

Please say you'll think of me

Whenever you kill an Orc or two.

There will never be a day when I won't think of you.

**Aragorn (wakes up from dream)**:

Can it be?

Can it be Arwen?

Long ago, it seems so long ago,

How young and innocent we were.

She is thinking of me and I remember her.

**Arwen**:

Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade,

They have their seasons, but not me.

So please promise me that sometimes

You will think of me.


	7. Tomorrow

Tomorrow

Sung by: Sam

Take off of "TOMORROW"

_ANNIE_

**Sam**:

We'll get to Mount Doom.

Tomorrow

Bet that ring of his

That tomorrow,

We'll get there.

Just thinking about

Tomorrow

Brings memories of the cobwebs

And the sorrow

In Shelob's lair.

Here, we're stuck in a day

That's gray

And lonely.

But I can't stick out my chin

And grin

Because

Oh!

We'll get to Mount Doom

Tomorrow

So we gotta live until

Tomorrow

Come what may.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

I hate you!

You're only a day away!


	8. Fellowship or On Any Travel Day

Fellowship/On Any Travel Day

Sung by: The Council of Elrond

Take off of "FOOTLOOSE/ON ANY SUNDAY"

FOOTLOOSE 

**Frodo**:

Been traveling, so long.

So I'm singing this song.

One whole month, for what?

Oh tell me what's this I got?

**Merry, Pippin, Sam**:

Been traveling, so long.

So we're singing this song.

One whole month, for what?

Oh tell us what he's got.

**Aragorn**:

Been traveling too damn long.

I'm singing this same song.

One whole month, busting my butt.

Oh, tell me what he's got.

**All**:

We've got this feeling this council will get us all down.

**Gandalf and Elrond**:

I hate this feeling, this council's holding us down!

**All**:

I'll hit the ceiling, or else I'm asking around!

Today I gotta know this!

Fellowship!

Tell us who's with

C'mon, Elrond,

Put me in this bond!

Frodo, go go!

C'mon, c'mon let's go.

This is it!

Who's in the Fellowship?

**Legolas, Gimli, Boromir (to each other)**:

I'm playing the man,

Seeing if I can.

Dig way down in my heart,

I'm burning yearning for some-

**All**:

Somebody to tell you

That this chance ain't passing you by.

**Legolas, Gimli, Boromir**:

This chance ain't passing me by!

**Elrond**:

I'm trying to tell you,

It will if you don't even know.

You can go!

**Aragorn**:

If you only know this.

(_said_) You have my sword in this.

**All**:

This Fellowship!

(_All in the next scene is spoken_)

**Elrond**:

Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. We have gathered here today to decide the fate of Middle-Earth. It stands upon the brink of destruction. We must destroy this Ring, and a fellowship must go and do this!

**Frodo**:

I have taken the ring this far. I must take it to the end.

(_sung_)

**Legolas (to Frodo)**:

First!

I'm here to help you around.

(_said_) You have my bow.

**Gimli (to Frodo)**:

Second!

I keep my feet on the ground.

(_said_) You have my ax.

**Boromir (to Frodo)**:

Third!

I help you reach your goal!

(_said_) You carry the fate of us all, little one.

**Sam, Merry, Pippin (suddenly popping out)**:

Ahh…

Councils keep holding me out!

Everybody, this… Everybody this…

(_Scene changes to traveling in Holland_)

**All**:

On any travel day, here we'll be

Raising our weapons and armory.

One day, when our journey has ceased,

The world will be at peace.

**Gandalf**:

One any travel day, I do pray,

That we are going the right way.

Give us strength and maybe then,

We can reach Sauron's den.

So the Lord may be defeated again.

Or we all go to our end.

(_Sounds of Crebain are heard in the distance_)

(_Said to the Fellowship_)

The pass to the South is watched! We must take the mountain way of Caradhras!

**Sam** (frustrated):

We've only been here two days and already,

Rivendell seems a million miles away!

**Aragorn (reassuring Sam)**:

But we couldn't have stayed on there,

Especially with the Nazgûls not really gone, there's

Not too many places we can stay.

But maybe Frodo and you are all ready,

And maybe we could all travel for a year

And maybe thing won't get to our heads,

And maybe we won't end up dead

And maybe Gondor will let me near.

**All**:

Ooh, Gondor will let him near.

**Frodo**:

Have I done the right thing?

Stopping up my life,

Knowing the Shadow of the Past,

That's always frightening,

Can I take the One Ring?

**All**:

The One Ring!

The One Ring!

Can he (I) take up the One?

The One Ring!

The One Ring!

This is the thing that must be done!

(_Scene switches to Caradhras_)

**Gimli**:

There's rumor going round about a wizard,

And everybody's so cold they're blue.

Because you now how a wizard is,

If he's not good he's dangerous,

But either way, at least it's something new.

**Legolas** (_spoken_):

Saruman is trying to bring down the mountain!

We must turn back!

**Boromir**: (_spoken_):

Let's take the Gap of Rohan!

**Gimli** (_spoken_):

The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard, where Saruman resides! Let's go under the mountain through the Mines of Moria!

**Gandalf** (_spoken_):

Let the Ring Bearer decide.

**Merry (_sung_)**:

Frodo, my bud.

Get us off this place and go.

This is decided above.

I just want to go back home.

**Frodo**: (_spoken_)

Er… let's go through the mines.

**Gandalf**:

Everybody!

**Frodo, Sam, Aragorn**:

We've only been here two

Days and already

Rivendell seems a million

Miles away

But we couldn't have stayed

There, especially with the Nazgûls

Not really gone, there's

not too many places

We can stay

But maybe Frodo and you are **Gimli**:

all ready,There's rumors

goin' round

about

And maybe we could all a wizard

travel for a year

And

Everybody's

So cold

They're blue

And maybe thing won't get toBut either way

our heads,it's something

new.

And maybe we won't

end up dead

And maybe Gondor Either way

At least it's

will let (him) me nearsomething new

(**_While_)**

**L, Ga, B**:**Merry and Pippin**:

The One Ring!Frodo.

The One Ring!my

Can he (I) bud

take up the One?Get us off this place

The One Ring!Place

The One Ring!And

This is the thing that Go.

must be done!

This is deci-

The One Ring!-ded

The One Ring!A-

-bove

Can he

take up the One?We just want

to

Can he

Take up go back

TheHome.

One?

(Together)

**All**:

On any travel day, here we'll be

Raising our weapons and armory.

Gathering to join this lease,

Asking nought, but Valar, at least

We pray that one day, when our journey has ceased,

The world will be at peace.


	9. We Feels Witty

Well, here's another weird song that I decided to write as a take off of yet _another _Broadway musical song. Please don't ask why I even bother, but let's just say I was bored and had nothing else to do. Anyway, please enjoy and review!

* * *

**We Feels Witty**

Sung by: Gollum

Take off of "I FEEL PRETTY"

_WEST SIDE STORY_

**Gollum: **(Suddenly gets idea to lead Frodo and Sam to Shelob's Lair)

We feels witty…

Oh so witty! Yes, yes…

We feel witty and giddy and light!

And we pities,

Any hobbits named Frodo tonight!

**Sméagol**:

But this is alarming,

Oh so alarming!

It is not charming how alarming we feels!

But it is witty,

That we can hardly believe it's real.

**Gollum**:

See that big fat hobbits there?

Oh who would the Valar so damn?

Such an ugly face,

Such ugly pots!

Such ugly food!

Such an ugly Sam!

We must be stealthies,

And look healthies,

Appear to be helping and endearing to him!

For Master thinks,

That we are still helpings them!

**Sméagol**: (Trying not to listen)

But you do not know our good friend, Frodo!

He's the nicest hobbits on the block!

You'll like him the minute you meets him!

Let us not give him cause to be shocked!

**Gollum**:

He thinks he can trust!

He thinks of the Ring!

He cannot trust us…

Because we wants that thing!

Haha.. we knows it's the heat,

And that he's getting weak

Hasn't gots much to eats

We thinks his future is bleak!

**Sméagol**:

Keeps away from him!

I sends for Sam!

This is not

The Sméagol I am!

We is good and we swears

To serve the Master

He helps us and dares

To be our friends, you bastard!

**Gollum**:

We feel witty…

Oh so witty! Yes, yes…

That Shelob will kill him for me!

And we pities,

Any hobbits that we happens to see!

**Sméagol**:

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

**Gollum**:

We feel witty

Oh so witty!

Finally, the Ring can be mine!

And so witty,

That the Dark Lord can just resign!

**Gollum**:

See that big fat hobbits there?

**Sméagol **(reluctantly agreeing):

Yes, that hobbit there.

**Gollum**:

Oh who would the Valar so damn?

**Sméagol**:

Yes, yes, yes, him!

**Gollum**:

Such an ugly face,

Such ugly pots!

Such ugly food!

Such an ugly Sam!

**Sméagol **(Finally agreeing):

Such an ugly Sam!

**Both**:

We must be stealthies,

And look healthies,

Appear to be helping and endearing to him!

For Master thinks,

That we are still helpings them!

* * *

And more to come from the very bored, cabin-fevered mind of CrystalFNfire!

* * *

Alright... and because my sister happens to be whining and complaining in her reviews, I will give her credit for some of these songs. She wrote _The Enemy's Eye _and _The Point of No Return_. It was also her idea to write a song about Legolas after the song from _A CHORUS LINE_. However, the song _The Enemy's Eye _was _my_ idea! Mine! Mine! Mine!

Hee hee... a little out of hand there. Anyway... the rest of the songs were written by me, and I shall tell you if any of the following ones are written by my sister. (See, Cat? I gave you credit! Now stop complaining!)


	10. I Am The Horselords' King

This song was written by my sister and I at night when we became very hyper after eating too many snacks before bedtime. It's the last time I drink Coke after nine. **

* * *

**

**I Am The Horselords' King**

Sung by: Théoden, Gandalf, and Éomer

Take off of "_I Just Can't Wait to Be King_"

_THE LION KING_

**Théoden:**

I am now a mighty king, so Saruman beware!

**Gandalf**:

Well, I'm sorry king, but your son is dead, so have a little care!

**Théoden: **(_is enraged to hear this_)

I'm gonna kill that web weaver, and give the wizard a scare.

I'm brushing up my sword skills, and I make Éomer my heir!

**Éomer**:

Thus far, thank thee much my sovereign king.

**Théoden**:

Yes, 'cause I am the horselords' king!

**Gandalf**:

You've rather a long way to go, Théoden. Saruman has…

**Théoden**:

Éomer saddle up! Éowyn stay here!

Gamling, stop that! Hama, no fear!

We need to go to Helm's Deep! We need to eat and go sleep!

**Gandalf**:

I think it's time that you know that I play another part.

**Théoden**:

But I need advice from Gandalf for a start!

**Gandalf**:

I go to business, out of Rohan, I cannot hang about!

See, Saruman is getting wildly out of wing!

**Théoden**:

Well, I guess I am the horselords' king!

Éowyn, look left. Everyone else look right.

Everywhere you look, Helm's Deep's the one light!

**Gandalf**: (_leaving_)

Shadowfax!

**Chorus**:

Let every horselord go for broke and sing!

Let's hear it in Rohan from everything!

It's gonna be King Théoden's greatest fling!

**Théoden**:

Oh, I am the horselords' king!

Oh, I am the horselords' king!

Oh, I am the horse….. LORDS' KING!


	11. So Long, Farewell

**So Long, Farewell**

Sung by: Bilbo

Take off of "_So Long, Farewell_"

_THE SOUND OF MUSIC_

**BILBO**:

This is a sad sort of saying from this little hobbit

And I'm sorry I must to you

But here in this pocket, a thing called a ring

Is telling me to say "Too-doo-loo!"

**Chorus**:

Too-doo-loo!

Too-doo-loo!

**Bilbo**:**Chorus**:

Regretfully I tell you Too-doo-loo!

But I know what I must do Too-doo-loo!

And say good-byeToo-doo-loo!

To you!

**Bilbo**: (_spoken_)

I don't like half of you as well as I should like

And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

(_sung_)

So long! Farewell!

I need to say good night!

I hate to go

And leave this pretty sight.

So long farewell!

I must now leave you!

Leave you! Leave you!

And you and you and you!

So long, farewell,

I really, must not tell!

But I leave a heave and sigh

I go to Rivendell

RIVENDELL!

My ring's a thing

Of the Dark Lord I must hie!

So long, farewell,

I need to say good night!

Good-bye!

Good-bye!

(_puts on ring and vanishes_)

* * *

Another crazy song complete. I don't know how many I'm going to write before I write the musical... but just stick around I hope you enjoy these songs! 


	12. Look At Me, I'm Eowyn E

**Look At Me, I'm Éowyn E.**

Sung by: Éowyn and Éomer

Take off of _"Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee_"

_GREASE_

**Éowyn**:

Brother, please!

Look at me!

I am, I am Éowyn E.

Must go to battle!

Don't leave me with cattle!

I am… Éowyn E.!

**Éomer**:

Wipe your eyne,

Oh, sister mine!

You were not brought up to fight!

Don't come for the ride!

Even Théodred died

When riding his horse to fight!

**Éowyn**: (_spoken_)

I know I don't drink or swear.

And I won't cut my hair.

I get ill from one smoking pipe,

But I want to go, to battle and show

That I can fight and ride!

**Éomer**:

As for you,

Wait for your cue!

I know what you wanna do!

Don't come to battle,

You're good with cattle!

You are just plain Éowyn E!

**Éowyn**: (_as the men leave_)

Aragorn, Aragorn, you have left me.

Love a woman you cannot see?

(_to herself_)

Just keep your cool,

Now you're starting to drool.

I'm warrior,

Éowyn E!


	13. When You're Good to Papa

**When You're Good To Papa**

Sung by: Gandalf

Take off of "_When You're Good To Mama"_

_CHICAGO_

**Gandalf**:

Ask any of the hobbits in my care

They'll tell you that I give them each their share.

I care for them all, and they'd die for me.

Because my system works…

The system is called give me some leaf!

Got a little motto

Hobbits love my looks!

When Tooks are good to Papa

Papa's good to Tooks!

See, there's a ring of evil

That I need to undo!

Frodo, take the ring for Papa,

Papa'll be good to you!

They say in live, it's tit for tat

Well, I got a long way to go!

So I can get a lot of tat

When the ring is with Frodo!

Don't you know that this pipe,

Smokes Old Tobey and Longbottom too!

When you're good to Papa,

Papa's good to you!

If you want help leaving

Give me some Tobey

Light it up for Papa,

I will help you flee!

When they pass that Basket

Of stolen Mushrooms,

When you're good to Papa,

He'll lie to Maggot for you!

The folks atop Mount Doom,

And the ones you need to get to

Help me off Isengard, kid,

And I'll help you do!

Let's all stick together,

And Make the Fellowship a crew!

When they're helping Papa,

Papa's helping you!

So what's the one conclusion

I can bring this number to?

When you're good to Papa,

Papa's good to you!

* * *

Eww! I just realized how dirty this song was! Gandalf sounds like a total hobbit-phile... but that's not the way I intended this song to be! Please understand! 


	14. All I Want

**All I Want**

Sung by: Arwen and Elrond

Take off of _"All I Ask Of You"_

_PHANTOM OF THE OPERA_

**Arwen**:

All this talk of darkness,

A mortal life fills me with fear

Yet, he's here, I must be here for him

My heart may warm and calm him.

(_To her father_)

Let me have my freedom

Let this ship leave me here

He's here, alive and healthy

I'll guard him and I'll love him.

(_To an invisible Aragon_)

She told me he'd love me every waking moment

I remember when me we met in summer time

(_To her father_)

Please leave me, but I know you love me

Leave me and the fate of this earth

That's all I ask of you.

**Elrond**:

Valinor'll be your shelter

The sea is your path to light

You'll be safe, war will not find you

He'll be left far behind you.

I know that you want freedom,

A world where you rule with him,

But I need you here beside me,

He'll die, even if you love him.

**Arwen**:

Say you'll leave me this one love, my lifetime

I mortal life I know I must choose

I can't always have you here, beside me.

If you must go, then I can't go with you.

Father, that's all I want of you.

**Elrond**: (_Spoken_)

There is nothing here for you. Only death.

(_Sung_)

Say you'll be with me, immortal with no lifeline

Say the word, and the ship will be here for you

Be with me tomorrow, at light of morning.

**Arwen: **(_Spoken_)

I choose a mortal life.

**Elrond**: _(giving in_)

So you love him.

**Arwen**:

You know I do.

Let me love him

That's all I want of you.

**Elrond**:

Anywhere you go, I'll be with you.

Always, watching from Valinor, whatever you do.


	15. One Ring

**One Ring**

Sung by: Gollum/Sméagol

Take off of "_One Boy_"

_BYE BYE BIRDIE_

**Gollum:**

One Ring…

One special ring!

One Ring to fish with!

To talk with!

And eat with!

**Sméagol**: (_catching on_)

One Ring!

But Master won't let it be!

**Gollum**:

Yes… yess… precious

But Master won't let it be!

**Sméagol**:

One Ring!

One certain Ring!

One ring to disappear with!

To jump with!

Share fish with!

One Ring

One Ring for me!

**Gollum**:

One day we found out

The ring is what life is all about

We need the Ring to

Live life like we do!

**Both**: (_Er… can it be both? It's one person… oh well_)

One Ring!

One Magic Ring!

One Ring to be with

Forever and ever

One Ring!

But Master won't let it be!

But Master won't let it be!

But Master won't let it be!

**Gollum**:

When will Frodo find out?

This is what our life's all about!

Will he ever see?

I need it and It needs me!

**Sméagol**: (_Doubting_)

Master…

Our good Master!

A hobbit to care for

To live for, be there for…

**Gollum**:

No! No!

One Ring!

But Master won't let it be!

So we kill him and see…

* * *

This was written specially for randomrohanfreak, because I loved your review! LOL... thanks.. that was hilarious! Anyone else can request their favorite Broadway musical song, favorite character, or theme... because actually... I know this sounds crazy... but I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! NOOOOO! 

Anyway, please, please, please keep reviewing. MUAH!


	16. Anything An Elf Can Do

Special Request of: The-burglar.

LOL... thanks for the idea man!

* * *

**Anything An Elf Can Do**

Sung by: Legolas and Gimli

Take off of "_Anything You Can Do_"

_ANNIE GET YOUR GUN_

**Gimli**:

Anything an elf can do

I can do better!

I can do anything

Better than you!

**Legolas: **

Oh yeah, right!

**Gimli**:

I know I'm right.

**Legolas**:

Oh yeah, right!

**Gimli**:

I know I'm right.

**Legolas**:

Oh yeah, right.

**Gimli:**

I know I'm right!

I know I'm right!

**Legolas**: (_said_) Oh yeah?

(_sung_) Any Orc you can kill

I can kill faster

I can kill any Orc

Faster than you.

**Gimli**:

No you can't!

**Legolas:**

Yes I can!

**Gimli**:

No you can't!

**Legolas:**

Yes I can!

**Gimli**:

No you can't!

**Legolas**:

Yes I can!

Yes I can!

**Gimli**: (_spoken_) So?

(_sung_) I can cut down a tree

With a single ax sweep

**Legolas**:

But you can't kill a sparrow

With a bow and arrow

**Gimli**:

But I can live underground!

**Legolas**:

I can live in trees!

**Gimli**:

So?

**Legolas**:

I don't endure fleas!

(_At Helm's Deep and both see the Orcs coming on. )_

**Legolas**:

Ha! Anyway you grow,

I can grow bigger

I can grow anyway

Bigger than you!

**Gimli**:

But not fat!

**Legolas**:

I can be fat!

**Gimli**:

You're not fat!

**Legolas**:

I _am_ fat!

**Gimli**:

You're sure you're fat?

**Legolas**:

I am fat!

**Gimli**:

Sure you're fat?

**Legolas**:

I am fat!

**Gimli**:

Ha! The elf's fat!

The elf's fat!

**Legolas**: (_flustered_)

Well however many Orcs you can kill,

I can kill more.

I can kill more

Urûks than you.

**Gimli**:

One more?

**Legolas**:

Five more!

**Gimli: **

Ten more?

**Legolas**:

Twenty more!

**Gimli**:

No you can't!

**Legolas**:

Yes I can!

Yes I can!

(_However, Gimli wins the Orc count, and they go back to Rohan for the drinking game!_)

**Gimli**:

Any ale you drink

I can drink faster

I can drink any ale

Faster than you.

**Legolas**: (_picking up a mug of ale_)

No you can't!

**Gimli**: (_picking one up as well_)

Yes I can!

**Legolas**: (_drinking_)

No you can't!

**Gimli**: (_also drinking_)

Yes I can!

**Legolas**:

No you can't!

**Gimli**:

Yes I can!

Yes I can!

**Legolas**:

I can drink my liquor

Faster than a flicker

I can drink it quicker

**Gimli**:

Hmmpf…And even get sicker!

Well I can out-drink you now

**Legolas**:

Without getting drunk?

**Gimli**:

Yes!

My stomach's like a trunk!

**Legolas**:

That's small!

However much ale you can hold,

I can hold more!

I can hold more

Ale than you!

**Gimli**: (_drinking more and faster_)

No you can't!

**Legolas**: (_Goading Gimli on, but not drinking_)

Yes I can!

**Gimli**: (_drinking even more_)

No you can't!

**Legolas**:

Yes I can!

**Gimli**:

No you can't!

**Legolas**:

Yes I can!

Yes I can!

**Gimli**: (_quite drunk_)

Any dwarves you seduce

I can seduce more!

I can seduce more

Dwarves than you!

**Legolas**:

I hope you can!

**Gimli**:

Yes I can!

**Legolas**:

Good, you can!

**Gimli**:

Yes I can!

**Legolas**:

Thank the Undying Lands!

**Gimli**: (_drunk as hell_)

Dance the can-can…

I can get a woman to puddle

And I can jump in a cuddle

**Legolas**: (_patting him on the back_)

Wait for the weather

Make sure it gets better.

**Gimli**:

I can do most anything!

**Legolas**: (_laughing_)

Can you give your shoelaces a tie?

**Gimli**: (_tries, but is too drunk_)

No…

**Legolas**:

Neither can I!

(_spoken_) That's because I don't have any!

**Gimli: **(_spoken_)

Only real dwarves swim with the little hairy woman… (_falls and passes out_)

* * *

**Overall score**: Legolas: 2 Gimli: 2

Looks like these two just can't the better of each other….

* * *

Well, thanks for all the reviews people! I hope you continue to read this and give me ideas, and I will continue to try and be the crazy bored person I am and create more of these songs... lol...

Keep reviewing!


	17. Fellowship!

Nothing to do these days... hee hee... so here it is! More songs!

**

* * *

**

Fellowship!

Sung by: The Fellowship and Eomer

Take off of _"Masquerade_"

_PHANTOM OF THE OPERA_

**Frodo**:

Well, friends, I must make a decision

Of who is to come with me.

**Boromir**:

Quite right! I'm impressed.

I will go on this quest!

**Frodo**:

I need rest!

**Aragorn**:

We'll give you an hour!

**Frodo**:

Oh the power of the Dark Lord is coming!

(_Scene switches to show Boromir attacking Frodo_)

**Boromir**: (_Spoken_)

It would be mine! It should be mine! Give it to me!

**Frodo**: (_Spoken_)

No! (_Kicks him and disappears_)

(_Orcs come and shoot Boromir with arrows so that he begins to blow on his horn_)

**All**:

Fellowship!

Breaking of the Fellowship!

Fellowship!

Boromir has tried to take the Ring from Frodo

Fellowship!

Orcs have taken Merry and Pip!

Fellowship!

Look around, where have they gone, Sam and Frodo?

(_Enter Uruks_)

**Legolas**:

I shoot one,

You shoot two,

There are Orcs

A-round you.

**Aragorn**:

Sword and bow,

Knife and sword

I will kill,

Take my word.

**Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn**:

Uruks!

The White Hand

The Red Eye

Have now come together

**Merry and Pippin** (_being carried by Orcs_)

Oh this inhumane race!

**Gimli**:

Where's the son

Of Gondor?

There's his horn,

Ringing sure!

**Aragorn**:

I will go

To find him (_finds Boromir on the ground_)

Here he is!

Quite condemned!

(_spoken_)

This is the work of…

**Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn**:

Uruks!

We will hunt

Day and night,

Till we kill

Them in fight…

**Gimli**:

The hobbits…

**Legolas and Aragorn**:

But how can we find them now?

**Le, Ar, Gi, Sam, and Frodo: **(_Different places on stage_):

Fellowship!

Breaking of the Fellowship!

Fellowship!

We have moved to separate parts of this quest.

Fellowship!

Orcs have taken Merry and Pip!

Fellowship.

We must go to our separate destinies!

**Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli**:

Three hunters!

We go to hunt the Orcs!

Three hunters,

We will go to Rohan and pursue them in there.

**Frodo and Sam**:

Emyn Muil!

Sinking holes and Gollum's lies!

Emyn Muil.

What a place, we wish the stinking holes will fill up!

**Aragorn**:

Here's Rohan,

**Legolas**:

Here's Fangorn,

(_Enter Riders_)

**Gimli**:

Riders here!

**Aragorn**:

Do not scorn

All these men of the Mark,

**Gimli**:

Hobbits here?

**Eomer**:

Killed in the dark.

**Legolas**:

But they were just children to you!

**Aragorn**:

I am

Isildur's heir,

To the throne,

But I am exiled there!

**Eomer**:

We are banished here too!

**Legolas**:

No more chase?

**Gimli**:

This is wrong!

**Eomer**:

Here's a horse

See you long

After you find your friends

**Aragorn**:

Thanks, we'll make amends.

(_Exit Riders_)

**Legolas:**

There is a burning pile of sh--!

**Aragorn**:

Search for hobbits there!

**Gimli**:

This is a broken Fellowship.

**Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli**: (_not finding the hobbits_)

Fellowship!

Death in the Fellowship!

Fellowship!

Bless hobbits,

So the world will hear of them!

Fellowship!

Death have taken Merry and Pip!

Fellowship!

**Aragorn**:

Look at here! There's a print of a hobbit!

**Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli**:

Fellowship!

Find the rest of the Fellowship!

Fellowship!

Perhaps Merry and Pippin are still alive.

Fellowship!

To Fangorn we must go!

Fellowship!

Let us go and find the hobbits there!

(_They go to Fangorn and find Gandalf_)

**Gandalf**:

Why so silent, good friends?

Did you think that I have left you for good?

Have you missed me, good friends?

I have become Gandalf the White!

Here I tell you about the hobbits.

They are WITH FANGORN!

**Aragorn**:

Fondest greatings, Gandalf the White

**Gandalf**:

A few instructions before we depart…

I will ride, here, Shadowfax

He is a mearas of the highest house of Rohan

Arod will carry Gimli and Legolas

Hasufel will bear Aragorn to Rohan!

**Aragorn**:

And my apologies, but we must learn what happened when you were in Moria?

The Balrog?

**Gandalf**:

As for that,

The Balrog died…

No doubt you doubt this story,

It's true, I have passed on,

But I, have

Been called back for a time

Now let the horses bear us back to Rohan…

To Rohan…

(_To Aragorn_)

You're still the heir to Gondor!

You belong there!

* * *

Well... that's it for today... wow... that was a hard song to write... please send me more ideas and requests! Sorry, the-burglar, but I don't know those two songs that you gave me... please send me lyrics if you didn't get that e-mail I sent you... 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, all you Phantom of the Opera fans... and review, review, review, _PLEASE!_


	18. Destroy It

Thanks for the ideaSarah. I still need to see this musical. It was playing in Los Angeles a few months ago, and I wanted to get tickets, but I waited and didn't... wahhh! >. **

* * *

**

**Destroy It**

Sung by: Elrond and Isildur

Take off of _"Bring Him Home_"

_LES MISERABLES_

**Elrond**:

Isildur,

Here's our need!

See this ring,

Destroy it, do the deed!

You are young,

You're afraid,

I know more,

I implore…

Destroy it

Destroy it

Destroy it

Think on your father, Elendil

You are, after all, his son.

Elves and men die,

One by one.

Destroy this lie!

On and on,

I persuade you,

And I will be gone.

**Isildur**: (_Arguing_)

This brings peace.

This brings joy!

Of this ring,

I will not destroy!

**Elrond**:

You can take

Anything else!

Let this be!

Make it melt!

**Isildur**:

If I die, let me die,

But I will not…

**Both**:

Destroy it!

Destroy it!

Destroy it!

* * *

I haven't heard of the musical Jekyll and Hyde... hmm... Sarah, if you're still reading these songs, could you send me the lyrics? 


	19. Burning Bright

Thanks everyone for the reviews! Yay!

Faerlas, keep reading, I guarantee that they'll just keep getting funnier!

Elven BlueEyes, I'm glad that you liked the take off of Bring Him Home.

Lesley (Philfan), thank you for being a totally faithful reader! You gave me my first review! Yay! Props for you.

Thanks for the suggestion, Sarah, and I will go try to find that Forbidden Broadway soundtrack when I go back to school shopping. It sounds hilarious! But maybe it's just something that's sold in Britain? **

* * *

**

**Burning Bright**

Sung by: Denethor

Take off of "_Edelweiss_"

_SOUND OF MUSIC_

**Denethor**: (_crazy and on fire_)

Burning bright,

Burning bright.

I will be with him shortly.

In the night, he died in fight,

And he looks dead to me, to me!

(_Gives a shriek as Pippin tries to take Faramir away from him_)

Faramir died,

Do not tell me a lie!

He died, and you lie for him!

(_Totally crazy, and falling off the Silent Street_)

Burning bright,

Burning bright.

Bless my death forever!

* * *

I know, I know... short song, but I can't find any of the lyrics that people are requesting, and though I would love to do them, I haven't seen those musicals If anyone can get me those lyrics, it would be great, because I enjoy new songs and I'm sure you all enjoy having your favorite songs made fun of... er... maybe that's just me... lol...

Keep reading! Thanks everyone!


	20. Aragorn or Faramir?

**Thanks a bunch, Sarah. I will go look for that CD as soon as I get the chance. Hmm... and Lesley, thanks for that site, but I hope that _the-burglar_ gives me the lyrics to the Scarlet Pimpernel or something. But all in all, I went to that URL and found... South Pacific, yet another production my high school did in the past few years. Well, here's another song...****

* * *

**

Aragorn or Faramir?

Sung by: Faramir and Éowyn

Take off of "_Bali Hai_"

_SOUTH PACIFIC_

**Faramir**: (_In the Houses of Healing_)

White Lady that lives in realm Rohan,

You're lost in the middle of a foggy sea.

You're a shield maiden of the realm Rohan,

But is that what you really want to be?

One day, love may call you.

Any night, any day.

**Éowyn**: (_annoyed, for she only wants to think of Aragorn_)

In your presence, I say f--- you.

Go away, go away.

**Faramir**:

One day love will whisper,

In the wind of this city.

**Éowyn**:

Go away, I am of Rohan!

Get with thee! Get with thee!

My own special hopes,

My own special dreams,

Bloom with Aragon

And ride in his teams!

**Faramir**:

If I try, will you love me?

I'll be your sky and your sea.

Here am I, your ready husband,

Come to me, come to me.

**Éowyn**: (spoken) I only want…

(_sung_) Aragorn,

Aragorn!

Aragorn!

**Faramir**: (_during this part, Éowyn's heart melts_)

Someday you'll se me floating in the sunshine

My head just as valiant as Aragorn's.

You'll hear me call you,

Singing through the sunshine,

Sweet and clear as can be:

"Come to me, here am I, come to me."

**Éowyn**:

If I try, will you love me?

You'll be my sky and my sea.

A shield maiden of Rohan…

Not for me, not for me.

(_spoken_) I'm for you…

(_sung_) Faramir,

Faramir!

Faramir!

* * *

**Ok... I know that the song isn't very funny, but imagining Eowyn and Faramir singing with South Asian accents like Mary in the play is hilarious! Whenever I read this song, I always hum it in my head with the accent and I start rolling on the floor with laughter. Maybe it's just because I'm Asian... but whatever!**

**Keep reviewing. I am open to more requests... lol... and I will look for more musicals to make fun of. Thanks everyone! **


	21. This Is The Moment

**Thanks for reading _Aragorn or Faramir_, Elven BlueEyes. I suppose it was cute, but I found it much more funny. (I'm telling you, its the Asian accents!) Keep reading and thanks for that review! **

**Sarah, this song was your suggestion, so here it is. I also went online to listen to a few of the _Forbidden Broadway_ songs, and I must say that they were _hilarious_! There were some that was to the tune of one of the songs from West Side Story, and I was seriously cracking up!

* * *

**

**This Is The Moment!**

Sung by: Saruman, Wormtongue, and the Ents

Take off of "_This Is The Moment_"

_JEKYLL AND HYDE_

**Saruman**:

This is the moment!

I can now sleep!

For I've sent all my Orcs with destruction

To Helm's Deep!

Follow him no more!

Who needs the Dark Lord?

Reign now, my Isengard!

You have played well your part!

**Ents**: (_entering_)

This is the moment!

This is the time

Where the Isen's guard and Isengard

Shall pay in kind!

(_The Ents start banging up Orthanc_)

**Saruman**: (_pleading_)

Give me a moment!

A precious chance!

I'll gather up my past,

And get out of here fast!

**Ents**:

This is the moment!

When all you've done

All the burning

Churning and learning

Are undone!

**Saruman**: (_lamenting_)

This is the day

I thought it could be mine!

But all I've lived for

Is being fined!

**Ents**:

For all these years,

We have been powerless

And now the time has come

To prove to the sun

We can break this fortress!

**Saruman**:

This is the moment!

My final test!

But Destiny beckoned,

And I never reckoned

To be laid to rest!

**Wormtongue**:

I won't look down,

I must not fall!

This is the moment,

When I leave Saruman and all!

**Ents**:

This is the moment!

Break dam and all!

This day or never,

We will sing forever

About our fall!

**Saruman**:

When I look back

I will always recall

Moment for moment

That was the moment

The dumbest decision,

That I made of all…

(_Spoken_)

Getting all the Orcs out of Isengard to attack Helm's Deep and leaving none to defend me, that is!

* * *

**Ahhh... it comforts me to post such strange and weird songs. It lets out the inner me so that I'm not like this around other people... wow... that would be bad, wouldn't it? **

**Oh yeah, thanks for reviewing and keep reading!**


	22. Shadow of the Past

**Thanks everyone that has been reading these songs. I just keep getting weirder and weirder, I know!**

**QueenofFlarmphgal**Thanks for liking these songs, and I can't help liking musicals... I'm a drama freak! I love acting and singing and maybe not so much dancing, but I have been in tons of musicals that my school has put on, including Footloose! (Love that play!)

**Elvin Blueeyes: **Props for you for being a faithful reader. I swear I'll update that Lord of the Rings Parody soon, but I'm working on something else, and it's taking forever... ick... I'll update before September, I swear!

**

* * *

**

**Shadow of the Past**

Sung by: Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Isildur, and his Men

Take off of _"Notes_"

_PHANTOM OF THE OPERA_

(_The scene is in Bag End, Gandalf is telling Frodo that he has the Ring left by Bilbo_)

**Isildur's Men**: (_Enter, as if in a flashback_)

History

Happened this night!

**Gandalf**: (_In the present_)

I know the history

Of Isildur's flight!

**Isildur's Men**:

Mystified

We were that day!

We were mystified

At the captain's delay!

**Gandalf**:

Bad news on

Sauron's scene—

First his body,

Now his Ring!

This is the story of old,

Wish we could destroy that band of gold!

**Frodo**:

What a way to

Scare a hobbit.

Spare me these

Unending trials!

My uncle Bilbo disappeared,

With the Ring very near

Could it be…?

**Gandalf**:

But this task you must handle

It's a scandal

That you surely don't want to miss!

**Frodo**:

Damnable!

I can't just walk out!

This is damnable!

**Gandalf**:

But without a doubt,

This was meant to be!

Bilbo made this last!

It was meant to be!

**Frodo**:

But I want to run out fast…

**Gandalf**:

But Frodo,

Bilbo was meant to have it too,

Here's the story

Of how it came to you…

(_Begins the story_)

Dear Bilbo

Went on a little adventure,

His specialty was in the theft!

But Dori dropped him when

They were in a goblin's den,

On that shot,

Bilbo went a-prancing

And took a shot at chancing,

But he only had his Sting left!

Dear Bilbo

Met the creature Gollum

And they had a little game,

Who could guess all the jokes

Of the other bloke's,

As you know,

Bilbo was the better,

And Gollum was the debtor

To lead Bilbo back to where he came!

**Frodo**:

Yes, Gandalf I know,

All of this.

But what does it have to do—

**Gandalf**:

Bilbo stumbled on the Ring

**Frodo**:

How do you know this thing?

**Gandalf**:

'Cause he told!

**Frodo**:

This is really not amusing!

You are abusing

This story

**Gandalf**:

But this is really

What happened!

**Frodo**:

What happened

Sort of specter…

And you expect

The ring from me,

Not to be,

You are clearly quite insane!

(_Suddenly, Gandalf hears a noise_)

**Gandalf**:

Where is he?

**Frodo: **

You mean Bilbo?

**Gandalf: **

I mean you're gardener,

Where is he?

**Frodo**:

Well, how should I know?

**Gandalf**:

I want an answer!

I take it that he wants to go!

**Frodo**:

What's all this nonsense?

(_Gandalf pulls Sam in by the hair from the window_)

**Gandalf**: (_spoken_)

Samwise Gamgee! You were listening under the hedge?

**Sam**: (_sung_)

Of course not!

**Frodo**:

Oh, don't blame him!

**Gandalf**: (_To Sam_)

You're not spying then?

**Sam**:

Of course not!

I'm in the dark!

**Gandalf**:

Samwise, don't argue,

Weren't you just

Under the hedge?

**Sam**:

And I was just clipping under the hedge!

**Gandalf**: (_incredulously_)

Clipping!

**Frodo**: (_spoken_)

Do not fear, for Samwise, is a faithful servant under me. Don't hurt him, let him be."

**Gandalf**: (_spoken_)

But he's already heard it, he must go!

**Sam**: (_sung_)

Who is he?

**Frodo:**

You know him!

**Sam**:

This scary old man,

Who _is_ he?

**Frodo**:

This is Gandalf!

**Gandalf**:

I think you better,

Get ready before the morning sun's rays

Are bent!

**Sam**: (_to Frodo_)

And are we going?

**Frodo**: (_Exasperated_)

I guess so!

**Sam**:

Master Frodo…?

**Frodo**:

I guess so!

**Sam**:

What's going on?

**Frodo**: (_To Gandalf_)

You dare to tell me

That Bilbo has been

Lying?

**Gandalf:**

Yes, I'm sure Bilbo

Was Lying.

(_spoken_)

You see, Bilbo and Gollum are almost alike. Gollum said that the Ring was his birthday present, when he actually strangled his friend to get it. Bilbo said that he had won in as a present in a match. It is uncanny how alike they are.

**Sam**:

Far too much

History for my taste.

And all of this

About Bilbo!

All I've heard since I came

Is Bilbo's name….

**Frodo**:

And the ring!

**Gandalf**:

I trust you now

Believe all of this thing?

**Sam**: (_to Frodo_)

Bilbo…

Where precisely is he now?

**Gandalf**:

He thought it best he was alone…

He needed rest.

(_spoken_)

He's in Rivendell.

**Frodo: **

May I see him?

**Gandalf**:

Yes, Frodo,

When you get there.

**Sam**:

Will we go?

Will we go?

**Gandalf**: (_To Frodo_)

Here, I have a chain.

Put it on!

**Frodo**: (_puts the Ring on it_)

Ring!

**Sam**: (_spoken_)

Masters, I am only a gardener. But I will follow Master Frodo to whatever end…

(_sung_)

Samwise Gamgee is here for you,

Though I'm not anxious for this career

To begin.

In this new found adventure with this ring,

I will therefore follow Frodo

To whatever end, and put him

In role of Ringbearer.

The role of Frodo

Calls for courage and strength,

My role is only silent,

And this solo is like a world of length…

(_spoken_)

I hate solos.

**Gandalf**:

Frodo!

**Frodo:**

Whatever next?

**Sam**:

I'll do my best to help Frodo!

**Frodo**:

This is insane…

**Gandalf**:

We don't the end of this,

Perhaps death, and no cover!

**Sam**: (_frightened_)

Indeed?

(_to Frodo_) Can you believe this?

**Gandalf**:

And Samwise!

**Frodo**:

And Samwise!

**Gandalf**:

You must help him!

**Frodo**:

Thanks, Samwise!

**Sam**:

You both are mad!

I know my orders, but…

**Gandalf**:

Frodo will be the Ringbearer,

The appearance role (_snickers_)

**Gandalf and Frodo**:

Samwise will be the lead!

(_spoken_)

Of the pony, that is!

* * *

**Okay... wow... for all of you Phantom phanatics, I'm sorry I didn't do the _entire_ song, but it _is_ really, really long, and I didn't want Sam, Frodo, and Gandalf to be arguing forever, though I suppose that would have made it funnier. **

**Anyway, please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please **

**(_takes a deep breath before continuing_) REVIEW!**


	23. Let's Go Fight a Troll

**Wow... I got a lot of reviews yesterday... lol... thanks everyone!**

**Mizamour**: Thank you sooooooo much! (You made my story look good) And I hope that you keep reading these parodies... lol... LADY MACBETH AND GIMLI FOREVER!

**randomrohanfreak**: What West Side Story song? The first one in the movie? Like... when they were snapping their fingers? Could you clarify? I didn't get that. But thanks for the reviews!

**Coolio02**: I will continue to write songs for sure! But I'm running out of Phantom ones... (sniff, tear!)

**Syen**: I'm glad you liked these songs! Check back for more!

**

* * *

**

Let's Go Fight a Troll

Sung by: The Fellowship

Take off of "_Let's Go Fly A Kite_"

_MARY POPPINS_

**Fellowship**:

Couldn't pass Caradhras, so we sing

Of Frodo and of Sauron's Ring.

We're going underground!

We had to fight Orcs,

Sam shot them with his forks,

Now we're at Durin's Door

(_spoken_) And we say…

**All**:

Let's go fight a troll!

Down where the drums have rolled!

Let's go fight a troll!

And send it falling

Down to the Deepest Deeps.

Down where the Balrog sleeps!

Oh, let's go fight a troll!

**Gandalf**:

When I find the password through here,

Then we can go down Durin's Stair

We can pass through the ground

Oh no, what is that sound?

Oh, I think it's a troll.

**All**:

Let's go fight a troll!

Down where the drums have rolled!

Let's go fight a troll!

And send it falling

Down to the Deepest Deeps.

Down where the Balrog sleeps!

Oh, let's go fight a troll!

* * *

**I have no idea what was going on in my head when I wrote this song... and amazingly, I wasn't even watching _The Fellowship of the Ring..._lol... tell me if you like it or if you didn't like it... Maybe I'll do Supercaliferagoulisticacsbialidocious...whew...next. (Did I even spell that right?)**


	24. Somewhere, West, In the Shire

**Thanks! Everyone's been so generous with reviews! I hope you all enjoy this one, as this was the request of _randomrohanfreak_. Thanks for the ideas, man! I hope I can watch Fiddler on the Roof soon, because I try and not do songs that I don't know. **

**Tziporah**: Thanks for reviewing so much! I'm glad that you like Les Miserables. (You know, I've been pronouncing that how it's spelled until, like, two years ago!) I will try and find more songs compatible with the Lord of the Rings from that musical!

**Pimpernelunderthecelticmoon**: Wow, you have a long penname... lol! Thanks for reviewing!

**QueenofFlarmphgal**: I'm a huge fan of Mary Poppins too! And I think her name's Julie Andrews... hmm... I totally forget... I haven't watched any of her musicals in _forever_. I just thought, hey, why not, the Fellowship fights a troll in the first movie, so let's add it in... lol.

**Maidenhair**: You need a psychiatrist. I'm not saying more until you get one. (JK!)

**Coolio02**: (Sighs) Another hopeless Phantom phanatic... lol...

**Mizamour**: Wow... you review a lot... lol... but thanks for reading all of these songs! PROPS TO LADY MACBETH AND GIMLI! Woot woot! Two of the coolest characters ever!

**And last, but definitely not least...**

**randomrohanfreak**: (MUAH! Gives you a big kiss and hug) Thank you so much for suggesting all those ideas, and even though I probably won't come up with those songs forever, I'm glad that you're taking such an interest in these songs! All I can say is, thank you thank you thank you! You've been a big help with these musical songs!

**

* * *

**

Somewhere, West, In the Shire

Sung by: Sauron and the Witch King

Take off of, "_Somewhere Over the Rainbow_"

_THE WIZARD OF OZ_

**Sauron**:

Somewhere, west, in the Shire, he has the one

That's the land that I heard of, from the one named Gollum.

Somewhere, west, in the Shire, a hobbit knows

Where the One that I dream of is, so there my Nazgûls go!

(_spoken_) You see…

(_sung_)

One day I made a shiny Ring

But Elendil didn't like that thing, I killed him!

Then troubles began to drop,

Isildur gave my finger a lop,

I was overthrown then!

**Witch King**: (_returning from the Shire_)

Somewhere, west, out of the Shire, a hobbit sleeps!

He fled to Rivendell,

And we, we lost our steeds!

**Sauron**:

If happy little hobbits fly

With the Ring in tow,

Why, oh, why can't I?

* * *

**Hope you all liked it! Pretty please give me some reviews! Pretty, pretty, pretty please? With a cherry (or whatever fruit you like, heck, randomrohanfreak, even fish for you, since I guess Gollum lives again inside of you) on top? **


	25. Little Hobbit, Come Here to Me

**Hahahaha! Evil Boromir!**

**Tziporah**: Thanks for the idea! I hope everyone knows this song... you know... every time I read your penname, I think of tambora and I get hungry... lol

**Elvin BlueEyes**: It's not a long song this time... lol...

**Maidenhair**: Wow... you review a lot. Keep it up! It makes me feel loved (Yeee!) Sure, we'll go see a shrink together. Which one do you suggest? Mizamourlikes Gollum, but considering the fact that he's at the bottom of Sammath Naur, perhaps we need to find another. Dr. Frankenstein, perhaps? (Read your fic and haven't died yet, neener neener neener!)

**

* * *

**

**Little Hobbit, Come Here to Me!**

Sung by: Boromir

Take off of, "_Invitation to the Jellicle Ball_"

_CATS_

**Boromir**:

Little hobbit, come here to me!

Little hobbit, bring the one Ring!

If hobbit boy you still want to be,

Little hobbit will stop all this hiding!

(_Whispered_)

Little hobbit, come here to me!

Little hobbit will stop all this hiding!

**Frodo**: (_Running away with the Ring on_)

Little hobbit is small and scared!

Little hobbit is only half your size!

**Boromir**:

Little hobbit with curly foot hair,

Little hobbit is going to die!

**Frodo**: (_Hiding and to himself_)

If I'm quiet enough in this hour,

If I'm quiet enough in the afternoon,

Perhaps I will evade Boromir's power,

And escape the Fellowship very soon.

**Boromir**:

I said I wanted it last year

At the Council of Elrond when we all joined.

I know little hobbit will soon appear!

And make what is known as the wise hobbit choice!

Come, just give it to me, I know it's what you want.

There's a silence I feel I could cut with a knife.

But I know all your usual places and haunts!

I know this ring will help me enhance my life!

For waiting up there, to Sauron, you're bare!

It's full of wonders you cannot see!

And hobbit, you don't even ask, because you don't dare!

(_Falls suddenly and realizes what he has said_)

(_spoken_)

What have I done?

Frodo! Come back, Frodo!

(_sung_)

How can it be?

How can it be?

* * *

**AND MORE TO COME!**


	26. Why Did the Valar Create Nazguls?

**Thanks for the lyrics and the idea, _the-burglar_, and everyone that's been giving me ideas! **

**The reason I decided to give this song to Glorfindel is thathe seems to have horribleluck. I mean, he gets dragged off a cliff by his hair by a Balrog, he got left out of the movies by both Bakshi and Jackson and replaced by Legolas and Arwen. He got kicked off the Fellowship when Merry and Pippin joined, but might have gotten in if he hadn't been replaced by first Galdor in an early version of LOTR and then Legolas.**

**(Sigh) Poor Glorfindel.**

**Oh, and uh, Tziporah, I meant tempura, not tambora. I just spelled it how I thought it was.

* * *

**

Why Did the Valar Create Nazgûls?

Sung by: Glorfindel, Aragorn, Merry, Pippin and Sam

Take off of "_The Creation of Man_"

_THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL_

**Glorfindel**:

Asfaloth!

Faster!

Master says!

Frodo, keep you grip, don't slip off his tail!

Stallion!

Rounds, horse!

Down, horse! Run!

**Aragorn**:

Run from Nazgûls and their horses, horse!

**Glorfindel**:

Issue the water from its sources, horse!

It courses past the horses, sir, and forces them to fail!

(_spoken_) Frodo!

_(Sung_) Be an example to your race!

Your wound was by kingsfoil dabbed.

(_To Aragorn_)

It'd have been smarter if your partner hadn't been stabbed!

Asfaloth, you must quicken your pace!

**Sam**:

But my master cannot ride!

**Aragorn**:

It'd be wiser if he flies early and hides!

Now fly or die and run or be done!

Let us run from those Nazgûls

Or they'll grab you by the lapels.

**Glorfindel**:

La, Elrond is here to bring a flood

And bring warmth back to the hobbit's blood.

**All**:

Why did the Valar create Nazgûls?

**Aragorn**: (_To Frodo's form on Asfaloth_)

Ride, sir!

**Sam**: (_To Aragorn_)

What sir?

Hobbits can't!

**Glorfindel**: (_Spoken_) Don't worry!

(_Sung_) Give the horse a command, and he will turn tail!

**Aragorn**:

Merry! Pippin!

**Pippin**:

Yes, sir!

**Merry**:

Yes, sir!

**Sam**: (_tripping_)

Damn! (_suddenly sees something_)

Is that Gandalf on the hilly, sir, whose beard is fully wool, sir?

**Glorfindel**:

He's fully on the hilly, for he's nilly willy pale!

Sir, be a lion-hearted hobbit!

Make those hobbit legs real light!

Nazgûls will kill you and fill you with night!

**Aragorn**:

Oh yes!

Be bold!

You'll be a cold, dead hobbit,

If you don't run and try to fight!

They'll stab you and your torso will ignite!

**Sam**:

Oh, run? No fun!

**Merry**:

I'm sick of this!

**Pippin**:

I'm afraid of dying!

**Merry**:

Well, at least you are not lying!

**Glorfindel**:

La, Elrond is here to bring a flood

And bring warmth back to the hobbit's blood.

**All**:

Why did the Valar create Nazgûls?

**Aragorn**:

They'll grab you by the collar and lapels!

Though their determination is admired,

I'm glad that Sauron made them so they were afraid of fire.

**Glorfindel**:

Let us make this a fast dash,

So that Sauron's Nazgûls cannot lash out

Let's all try to set a fast pace,

'Cause this could be our last race!

La, Elrond is here to bring a flood

And bring warmth back to the hobbit's blood.

**All**:

So Frodo is now known to be fated,

Let's hope the Nazgûls are belated.

Why did the Valar create…

NAZGÛLS?

* * *

**And more to come!**


	27. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

**Oh... (sniff) after all those funny songs, I decided to finally write a serious one. Here it is. Poor King Theoden. I don't think he deserved to die. And Eomer is kind of stupid throughout the entire book, and I bet he forced his marriage with Lothiriel! Grr... he shouldn't have been Theoden's heir. Why, oh why, did Theodred die? Oh well, I suppose it's all part of the great TOLKIEN'S design. **

**(That might have sounded sarcastic, but it wasn't. Really.) **

**Anyway, here's the song:

* * *

**

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

Sung by: Éowyn and Éomer

Take off of, "_Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again_"

_PHANTOM OF THE OPERA_

**Éowyn**: (_At the scene of the burial of King Théoden_)

You were once the King of Rohan.

To all of us, you mattered.

You were once a friend and father.

Then your body was shattered.

**Both**:

Wishing you were somehow here again.

Wishing you were somehow near.

Sometimes I think, my heart will just sink.

If only you were still here!

**Éomer**:

Wishing I could hear your voice again,

Knowing that I never would.

Your words to me, may help me to be,

The king that I wish I could.

**Éowyn**:

Passing bells, and simbelmyne.

Small but monumental.

These and your fathers, are your companions.

For you were warm and gentle.

**Éomer**:

All of these years,

Have filled me with tears,

You took me in when my mother died!

**Both**:

Wishing you were somehow here again.

Knowing we must say goodbye.

Thanks for your gifts, teach us to live.

In peace may you rest and lie!

All these memories go with our tears.

Thanks for giving us those memorable years.

We will say good-bye.

We will say good-bye.

* * *

**Oh, sniff! Don't you just want to cry after all of that. Oh... gah! (Goes to bawl eyes out.)Ok. Back. **

**Maidenhair**: **Yay! You give me such long reviews. I feel loved (gives Maidenhair a hug). **

**The-burglar: Aww... how did you get poison ivy? I'm glad I brightened your day though! Yay! And baby-sitting little sisters isn't that bad. I do it everyday... Ok. Fine. I'm not going to lie. Maybe it is. Hope you at least had fun at Cape Cod, though!**

**surf all day and do the hula: Hahaha! I love your penname! Thanks for reading, and you can always make up your own tunes! That's really fun, especially if you try really really really really high notes that you know you can't reach and annoy the heck out of your parents and siblings... lol... I do it all the time. **

**Tziporah: Did I explain the entire tempura thing? Well, I'm a horrible speller when it comes to foreign dishes. (I spelled fillet mignon: fillay minon) But tempura is a Japanese dish with shrimp fried with flour and put alongside some vegetables. Its _good_. LOL... **


	28. Palantir

**I decided to put a disclaimer because all these fics I've read have disclaimers, and I think that I'm going to be fined for plagarizing or something if I don't... LOL... But all those disclaimers I've seen are _boring_, so I'm going to add my own flavor to this disclaimer! (Hey that rhymes!)**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own J.R.R. Tolkien (**Dammit. Wish I did. Then I'd be filthy rich...). **I do not own Denethor. (**Why would I want to own him? There's a reason we have _lightbulbs_. Though, I suppose, it'd be really cool. "Let's go into my room!" _Goes into room and throws torch and oil at Denethor so he lights up my room_.) **I don't own Pippin. (**Aww... he's so cute. Little hairy hobbit feet and all.)** I don't own the Palantirs. **(That'd be sooooo cool! Then I wouldn't have to study on tests!)**I don't own Abba. **(Someone tell me how I can add that little backward "b")**. I do not own the musical, "Mamma Mia." (**Again, wish I did.)** Oh, yeah, and I don't own Gandalf. (**Again, another reason why we have lightbulbs, so we don't have to rely on Gandalf's staff in the Mines of Moria.**)

**I think that's it... so here's the song!**

**

* * *

**

Palantir

Sung by: Denethor and Pippin

Take off of "_Mamma Mia_"

_MAMMA MIA_

**Denethor**: (_To his Palantir_)

I have come to ask you

Will I die and of when

(_In indecision_)

But I made up my mind,

This must come to an end.

Look at me now,

Will I ever learn?

I don't know how.

But I suddenly lose control.

There's an Eye within my soul.

Just one look and I can see Gondor fall.

One more look and I think I lost all.

(_Looking into the Palantir_)

Palantir, here I go again.

Sauron, how can I resist you?

Palantir, please show me again.

My, my, just how could I've missed you?

(_Suddenly sees his son, Boromir_)

Yes, I've been broken-hearted,

Boromir, since the day we parted.

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Palantir, now I really know.

My son, I should not have let you go.

(_Scene switches to Pippin and Gandalf riding on Shadowfax_)

**Pippin**:

Look at me now.

Will I ever learn?

I don't know how.

But I suddenly lost control.

There was an Eye within my soul.

Just one look and I could see the White Tree.

One more look and I regret this deed.

(_Remembering_)

Palantir, I will not go again.

Sauron, how did I resist you?

Palantir, don't show me again.

My, my, why didn't I resist you?

Yes I've been broken-hearted.

Since the day Merry and I parted.

Why, why did I ever have to go?

Palantir, now I really know.

My my, I should just have let you go.

**Denethor:**

Just one look and I can see Gondor fall.

One more look and I think I lost all.

Palantir, here I go again.

Sauron, how can I resist you?

Palantir, please show me again.

My, my, just how could I've missed you?

Yes, I've been broken-hearted,

Boromir, since the day we parted.

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Palantir, now I really know.

My son, I should not have let you go.

(_While_…)

**Pippin**:

Just one look and I could see the White Tree.

One more look and I regret this deed.

Palantir, I will not go again.

Sauron, how did I resist you?

Palantir, don't show me again.

My, my, why didn't I resist you?

Yes I've been broken-hearted.

Since the day Merry and I parted.

Why, why did I ever have to go?

Palantir, now I really know.

My my, I should just have let you go.

* * *

**Anawey**: **I decided that I had to write a sad song because the other ones were funny, and I was in a sad (ish) mood that day. Glad you liked _Fellowship _or _On Any Travel Day_. (Love that musical! Go Footloose!)**

**Burglar**: **Aww... damn all that poison ivy on Cape Cod... lol... and YES! Eowyn should have taken the throne!**

**Elvenhope: Wow, you give lots of reviews... lol... glad you really liked those songs! And I didn't _mean_ to make Gandalf a hobbit-phile... LOL... Oh, and I imagine the Fellowship singin and swinging their swords (or bows or axes, whatever pleases you). **

**Surf all day and do the hula: LOL... thanks for reading!**

**Daelena: Thanks for joining me so late in all these songs!**

**Tziporah: YEAH! Tempura! Oh, and I thought Eomer was cool in the movie, but I thought he was slightly stupid in the book. Glad you like Glorfindel. It seems as if no one even knows about the poor guy anymore. I vote that we kill that Balrog that dragged him off the cliff. **

QueenofFlarmphgal: **No more sad songs... sorry. Unless, that is, I'm having a bad day and fail all my tests or something... lol... glad you like these songs!**

**Coolio02: Yes, poor Eowyn and Eomer. But thanks for reading! (Hums song...)**

**Mizamour: Thanks! Though... er... I'd have been freaked out too if you had sung that around me... lol... keep reading! Thanks for the review on fictionpress!**

**Maidenhair: Ok... I won't hug you. Why in the world are you part hedgehog? Never mind. (That part was added hastily) I _really_ don't want to know... lol. UPDATE THAT OTHER WOMAN STORY SOON!**

**

* * *

Thanks, everyone that reviewed! I'll keep writing!**


	29. The Lord of the Rings Prologue

**Sorry, Tziporah, I know you don't like Mamma Mia, and I promise that this is the last song I will do from that musical... But I like ABBA! LOL... **

**Oh, and no more disclaimers... (wipes sweatdrop) they take sooooo long!

* * *

**

The Lord of the Rings (Prologue)

Sung by: Everyone

Take off of "_Dancing Queen_"

_MAMMA MIA_

**All**:

He can disappear!

He can fight!

Living a really long life!

See that Eye!

He needs one thing!

Then he'll be the Lord of the Rings!

**Nazgûls**:

When Isildur took the Ring he was low,

Didn't know what place to go.

Tried to live in Dol Guldur

Evil then took wing,

He can become your king!

**All Bad Guys**:

Anybody could be that guy

Holding the Ring, the Master's hopes are high.

That it's a young hobbit.

Coming in for death.

It's gonna wet its pants.

And when he gets the chance…

**All**:

He is the Lord of the Rings!

He needs one thing!

So we all sing, ooh yeah!

Lord of the Rings.

Feel the heat

From his very high seat, ooh yeah!

He can disappear!

He can fight!

Living a really long life!

See that Eye!

He needs one thing!

Then he'll be the Lord of the Rings!

**Elrond**:

He's a teaser, he'll turn you on.

**Aragorn**:

Make you yearning so the hobbit's gone

Making his way to Mordor,

**All Bad Guys**:

Coming in for death.

It's gonna wet its pants.

And when he gets the chance…

**All**:

He is the Lord of the Rings!

He needs one thing!

So we all sing, ooh yeah!

Lord of the Rings.

Feel the heat

From his very high seat, ooh yeah!

He can disappear!

He can fight!

Living a really long life!

See that Eye!

He needs one thing!

Then he'll be the Lord of the Rings!

**All Good Guys**:

See that Eye?

He needs one thing!

Then he'll be the Lord of the Rings!

* * *

**the burglar**: I will do The Producers! I promise! Maybe "Springtime for Hitler"... lol... love that song and it could be totally hilarious for lord of the rings... Thanks for the idea!

**surf all day and do the hula**: Wow... your penname is really long to type... lol... but no matter! Yes, I really want a Palantir too. Unfortunately, there were only seven created... grrr... and most of them were probably lost. The only ones they mentioned were the one in Minas Ithil, the one in Isengard, and the other one in Minas Anor... so there could be four more going around!

**Elvin BlueEyes**: Did I already tell you? Well, if I didn't, then it's Abba that sang "Mamma Mia" and "Dancing Queen". Wow... I have a short memory... lol... Glad you liked the songs.. and yes, I thought that "Little Hobbit" song was really creepy too.I can't really imagine Boromir and Frodo singing it.

**QueenofFlarmphgal**: I know I'm just remarking on everyone's penname, but I think that yours is really interesing. Where is it from? Oh, and sorry that you like "Mamma Mia" because I only liked those two songs from the actual musical and the other Abba songs were_ not_ made into musicals... grrrrrrr... but again,no matter! I hope you keep reading!

**Tziporah**: Ok, last Mamma Mia song... lol... next one will definitely be from The Producers, as "the-burglar" kindly suggested. Yes, Glorfindel... reincarnated and all because he's a damn Light Elf... lol... still, killing that Balrong looks pretty tempting...

**randomrohanfreak**: Your welcome for the fish...LOL... I'm glad you liked the "Little Hobbit" one. Yipes! I'm not responsible for that cracked windowpane!

**Maidenhair**: About that hedgehog thing... hmmm... it's starting to sound really tempting and I just might ask you again about it if something exciting doesn't happen around here... lol... Thanks for the review!

**Anawey**: Thank you! Keep reading! I hope you like The Producers!

**And more to come! (Laughs madly)**


	30. Springtime for Humans

**Springtime for Humans**

Sung by: Everyone present at the Crowing of King Elessar

Take off of_ "Springtime for Hitler_"

_THE PRODUCERS_

**All men**:

Middle-Earth was having trouble

What a sad, sad story.

Needed some new leaders to restore

Its former glory.

Where, oh, where were they?

And would these men stay?

So we looked around and then we found

Some men that can help do!

**Chorus**:

And now it's…

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

Dol Amroth is happy and gay!

We're marching to a faster pace.

**All men**:

Look out, here comes the human race!

**Chorus **(_Non- humans all a little disgruntled_)

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

The Black Land's a wasteland once more!

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

**All men**:

Watch out, hobbits,

You elves and dwarves!

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

**Frodo**: (_Spoken_)

Hey! But I destroyed the Ring!

**Gandalf**: (_Spoken_)

Excuse me, I was only your leader through this whole thing! And I only died for you to fight that Balrog!

**Legolas and Gimli**: (_Spoken_)

And we were part of the Fellowship!

**All men**: (_Ignores them, Sung_)

Look, it's springtime

Winter for Mirkwood and Shire!

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

**Aragorn and Éomer**:

Springtime! Springtime!

Springtime! Springtime!

Springtime! Springtime!

Springtime! Springtime!

**Beregond**:

Come on, humans,

Our need is dire!

**Aragorn**:

I was raised in Imladris and that is why they call me Es----tel.

**Éomer**:

Don't be sluggish, go a-zoomin', come and join us if you're human!

**Men**:

The kings are coming! The kings are coming! The kings are coming!

**Faramir**:

Hail the kings!

**Beregond**:

Hail the kings!

**Men**:

Hail the kings!

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

Hail the kings!

**Aragorn**:

Hail the king!

Hail to me!

I'm the kraut

Who's out from ancient history.

**Éomer**:

Hail the king!

Raise your hand!

There's no greater

Dictator in the land!

Everything we do, we do for you!

**Men**:

Everything!

**Éomer**:

If you're looking for a war, here's the War of the Rings!

**Aragorn**:

Hail the king!

Raise your beer!

**Men**:

Hurrah!

**Aragorn**:

Every groomin', bloomin' human stand and cheer!

**Men**:

Hooray!

Every groomin', bloomin' human…

**Aragorn**:

Hail myself!

**Men**:

Every groomin', bloomin' human…

**Aragorn**:

Hail myself!

**Men**:

Every groomin', bloomin' human…

**Aragorn**:

Stand and cheer!

**Chorus**: (_except the non-humans, who are very offended and standing aside_)

The humans have keen acumen

They've got those Urûks on the run.

You gotta love those wacky ones!

The humans have keen acumen!

Mordor can't say "no" to their demands!

They're freaking out in foreign lands

They're got the whole world in their hands.

The humans have keen acumen!

**Aragorn**:

I was just a stranger Ranger.

Someone that had nothing

Got a phone call from my mother

Told me I was the king.

Gondor was real blue

What, oh, what to do?

So helped this thing

To destroy the ring

**Frodo**: (_spoken_)

I'm not a _thing_! I'm a hobbit!

**Aragorn**: (_ignoring him_)

Now Gondor is smiling through!

**Éomer**:

And it wasn't always so easy…

It was 3020. Théodred was the king's heir and I…

I was all but banished. And then I got my big break.

Somebody killed my cousin! And, would you believe it?

He made me his heir! His heir!

(_sung_)

It ain't no mystery

If it's horses in our history!

**Aragorn**:

The thing you gotta know is,

Everything is show biz.

**Éomer and Aragorn**:

Hail the king!

Here we go!

**Éomer**:

I'm Rohan's Lord Elrond!

Dontcha know?

**Éomer and Aragorn**:

We are crossing borders

The new world order is here

Make a great big smile

Every one man hail to me!

**Aragorn**:

Wonderful me!

And now its..

**Chorus**:

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

Six feet is the new feat today!

**Hobbits**: (_spoken_)

Hey!

**Aragorn**:

Springtime!

Six feet!

**Chorus**:

Stars are in the skies again!

Gondor is on the rise again!

Springtime for Rohan and Gondor too!

The White Tree is growing once more!

Spring time for Rohan and Gondor too!

**Éomer**:

Means that…

**Chorus**:

Soon we'll be stopping….

**Aragorn**:

We've got to be stopping

**Chorus**:

You know we'll be stopping

**Éomer**:

You bet we'll be stopping…

**All: **You bet we're stopping this war!


	31. Helm's Deep

**Sorry, everyone about not updating, but school has started, and my dad totally disconnected my internet for awhile! I hope this makes up for it! Thanks, everyone that reviewed!

* * *

**

Helm's Deep

Sung by: Théoden, Aragorn, and Urûks

Take off of "_Music of the Night_"

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA 

**Théoden**:

Night-time sharpens

Heightens the sense of fear

Darkness stirs and

Wakes the women's tears.

But our men still have their senses

To heighten our defenses.

**Aragorn**:

Quickly, harshly,

The Orcs unleash their terror.

Hold it! Stand it!

To help the task of the ring bearer

**Orc Leader**:

Turn you face away

From Helm's Deep until I say

**Aragorn** (_To Gimli_):

Brace yourself for

That long and wrenching leap.

**Orcs**:

Tonight we're

Going to destroy Helm's Deep!

**Éomer**:

Open your eyes,

Do not surrender to these

Putrid things

Think of thoughts

Of the life

You can have!

Unsheath your swords,

And let Eorl

Guide your shafts!

**Orcs**:

We'll make you fight

As you've never

Fought before.

**Orc Leader**:

Quickly, deftly,

Our forces shall surround you.

See us! Hear us!

Closing in around you!

You can use your swords!

Try to destroy our Orc hoards

In this darkness that we know will seep!

**All Orcs**:

Tonight we're

Going to destroy Helm's Deep.

**Théoden**:

Let your swords

Star to hack at this

Strange new race.

Leave all thoughts

Of remorse

At the door!

Let your swords

Take you to

Victory!

Only then

Can we not have

Defeat.

**Aragorn**:

Fighting, falling

Sweet incineration.

Hack them! Kill them!

Savor each sensation!

Let the war begin!

Do not let your side give in!

To the power of Saruman the creep!

We must do all to defend Helm's Deep!

**Orcs**:

We must first drive them to the Keep!

Then we will have defeated Helm's Deep!


	32. Apologies From Merry and Pippin

**Apologies From Merry and Pippin**

Sung by: Merry and Pippin, with some members of the Fellowship

Take off of, "_Gee, Officer Krupke_"

WEST SIDE STORY 

**Merry**:

Dear, kindly Gandalf Greyhame,

You gotta understand!

We're not trying to ruin your name,

Things just get out of hand.

We just thought it' be funny.

You can't blame us for the tent

Flaming dragons

Was not our first intent!

**Pippin**:

Gee, Gandalf Greyhame,

I know I am dumb.

I didn't mean to drop

The stone and start all the drums.

**Both**:

We ain't delinquents,

We don't steal jewels

What you have to know is…

We are fools!

We are fools

We are fools!

We are little fools,

Like, we were born to be little fools!

**Gandalf**: (_Spoken_)

That's not an apology!

**Pippin**: (_Spoken_)

But I've still got lots to do!

**Merry**: (_Spoken_)

Say sorry to Aragorn!

**Pippin**: (_Sung_)

Dear, kindly Strider the king,

I didn't mean to ask

For a second breakfast,

I promise I'll do my task!

I know you didn't like me,

But I just had to come!

Being captured

Was because we were dumb!

**Merry**:

Right, Aragorn, Strider,

I hope you're not mad.

But we don't need to be scolded,

Because we're not bad!

It's Pip's curiosity that oughta be curbed,

He's really good, just absurd!

**Pippin**:

I'm absurd!

**Merry**:

We're absurd!

We're absurd!

We are most absurd!

Like, we are really most absurd!

**Frodo: **(_Spoken_)

Well, well, well!

What about me?

You got me stabbed

On top of Weathertop!

**Pippin**: (_Spoken_)

Hey! We didn't get you stabbed! You put on the ring yourself!

**Sam**: (_Spoken_)

So? It's still your fault!

Hey you!

**Merry**: (_Spoken_)

Who me?

**Sam**: (_Spoken_)

You apologize to my master!

**Merry**: (_Sung_)

My goodly Ringbearer,

Nothing could be fairer

If I would say I'm sorry

The fault is all on me!

When you were stabbed by Nazgûls,

You first put on the Ring!

Holy, moly!

One hit for the Witch King!

**Pippin**:

Yes, cousin Frodo,

You shouldn't blame him.

It really was your fault

You should have controlled your whim!

Sauron played you a terrible trick,

See, now you are permanently sick!

**Merry**:

He is sick!

**Both**:

You are sick!

You are sick!

You are sick, sick, sick!

Like, you're so permanently sick!

**Sam**: (_Spoken_)

In my opinion, my master does not need to have that spoken out loud! His sickness is merely caused by his wound!

**Pippin**: (_Spoken_)

So, who should we apologize to next?

**Merry**: (_Spoken_)

How about Elrond?

**Pippin**: (_Spoken_)

Which way?

**Merry**: (_Spoken_)

That way!

**Pippin**:

Dear, kindly my Lord Elrond!

We didn't mean to nag!

We wanted to help Frodo,

Not be tied up in bags!

Rivendell was quite pleasant,

But it's those eyebrows of yours!

One up! One down!

They were such eyesores!

**Merry**:

My Lord Elrond,

Apologies to you!

We would have listened, but

There were some things to do!

It is only a question of misunderstood,

See, deep down inside, we're good!

**Pippin**:

We are good!

**Both**:

We are good!

We are good!

We are really good,

Like, inside the worst of us there's good!

**Gandalf**:

The trouble is they're lazy!

**Legolas**:

The trouble is they smoke!

**Aragorn**:

The trouble is they're crazy!

**Gimli**:

They trouble is they're dopes!

**Frodo**:

The trouble is they're growing!

**Sam**:

The trouble is they're blue!

**Merry and Pippin**:

Sorry, that's all our apologies to you!

Dear Fellowship of friends,

We're down on our knees

I hope we are wanted,

Though sometimes we're creeps,

Fellowship of friends,

What are we to do?

That's why we're here to…

Apologize to you!


	33. I've Honestly Seen It

**I've Honestly Seen It**

Sung by: Galadriel and Frodo

Take off of: "_I Honestly Love You_"

"_A BOY FROM OZ_"

**Galadriel**: (_To Frodo_)

Maybe I hang around here

A little more than I should.

We both know that I am the queen of elves.

But I've got something to show you,

That I've known I would.

I believe you should see where Sauron delves,

Because…

I've seen it.

I've honesty seen it.

(_Pours water into the Mirror of Galadriel_)

I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable

I'm not trying to make you see at all.

But this chance doesn't come along every day,

And you shouldn't blow this chance

But I have the privilege to say…

I've seen it.

I've honestly seen it.

I've honestly seen it.

(_Frodo looks into the mirror_)

**Frodo**:

Wish I were born

In another place and time.

Don't know what to expect in all of this.

But I only see eyesores,

And everything destroyed of mine

Whatever happened to ignorance is bliss?

I've seen it.

I've seen it.

I've honestly seen it.

* * *

**And more to come! Thank you everyone for reviews, and sorry this is such a short song!**

**the-burglar**: Don't worry, I know exactly how you feel. Gahh...

**Elvin BlueEyes**: Here's more! (And more and more and more and more and more... LOL... I don't know when I'm going to end this!)

**Maidenhair**: More for you too!

**lulubelle**: Thanks for all those long reviews! LOL... I will try and do you songs, and I'm glad you liked "All I Want!"

**QueenofFlarmphgal**: Er.. I love you too... er... er... lol... thanks!

**Tziporah**: Muchas gracias! (I'm taking Spanish and practicing when I can.)

**surf all day and do the hula**: Thanks for reading so many of my fics!

**Mizamour**: I am convinced you are dead!

kd7sov: Thanks for all the ideas!


	34. Get a Hobbit or Two

**Thanks for the idea, randomrohanfreak, and thanks everyone else for reviewing!

* * *

**

Get A Hobbit Or Two

Sung by: Gandalf, Elrond, and Rivendell Elf Chorus

Take off of "_Pick a Pocket or Two_"

OLIVER 

**Gandalf**:

To Sauron, one thing counts

That is rings, in large amounts!

I'm afraid, we've got one of these.

We've got to get a hobbit or two!

We've got to get a hobbit or two, lord

We've got to get a hobbit or two!

**Elf Chorus **(_agreeing_):

We can't take it overseas

We've got to get a hobbit or two!

**Gandalf**: (_spoken_)

We have to destroy the Ring, don't you know?

(_Sung_) Why should we break our backs?

We have to face the facts.

Better get this one to do it.

Better get a hobbit or two!

We've got to get a hobbit or two, lord!

We've got to get a hobbit or two!

**Elf Chorus**:

Why should we all break our backs?

Better get a hobbit or two!

**Gandalf**: (_takes out leaf, spoken_)

Why says friendship doesn't pay?

(_Sung_) Bilbo Baggins was a crook!

Now e have what he took!

Keeping it's fine, but we will die!

Go now and get a hobbit or two!

We've got to get a hobbit or two, lord!

We've got to get a hobbit or two!

**Elf Chorus**:

Frodo is good for this!

We can go get a hobbit or two!

**Gandalf**:

Take a tip from Gandalf

Can help you help yourself.

I recall, let's start small

We have to pick a hobbit or two!

We have to pick a hobbit or two, lord!

We have to pick a hobbit or two!

**Elf Chorus**:

We can succeed if we proceed

If we get a hobbit or two!

**Elrond**: (_Spoken_)

What if…

(_Sung_) The Nazgûl pass him by

Get the Ring back for the Eye

Nothing's clear, we all fear

If we go get a hobbit or two!

We can't go get a hobbit or two, Gandalf!

We can't go get a hobbit or two!

**Elf Chorus**: (_it seems they just echo_)

Nothing's clear, we all fear

If we go get a hobbit or two!

**Gandalf**: (_comes up with a plan_)

When we see someone strong,

And we know they do no wrong,

They can go with Frodo!

We have to get a protector or two!

We have to get a protector or two, lord!

We have to get a protector or two!

**Elf Chorus**:

They can go with Frodo!

**All**:

But we have to get a hobbit or two!

* * *

**And more to come. I promise I'll do some of your requests, but school has started, and ideas aren't coming!**


	35. Wouldn't It Be Loverly? Shelob Style!

**Wouldn't It Be Loverly**

Sung by: Shelob

Take off of, "_Wouldn't It Be Loverly_"

MY FAIR LADY 

**Shelob:**

It's rather dull here, I think I should exercise.

Nahhh…..

These jaws here want to open

To eat, my expertise

Me stomach recommends a few hobbits and Orc meat

Mmmm, Mmm, wouldn't that be loverly?

All I want is a web somewhere,

Far away from the cold night air.

With one enormous lair.

Aow, wouldn't it be loverly

Lots of hobbits for me to eat

Lots of Orc bones to make my seat

Fat face, fat hands, fat feet!

Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Aow, so loverly sittin abso-bloomin-lutely still

I would never budge at all

I got to eat all my fill

Someone's head restin between me teeth

Warm an tender as can be. Who tastes real good to me.

Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly!


	36. The Introduction of Mordor

**Yay! Thanks for all the reviews you guys!

* * *

**

The Introduction of Mordor

Sung by: The Nazgûls

Take off of, _"Little Shop of Horrors_"

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 

**Nazgûls**:

Mordor, Mordor's fulla horrors!

Mordor, Mordor's fulla terror!

It won't stop! Mordor's fulla horrors!

No, oh, oh, no-oh!

**Witch King**:

Mordor, Mordor's fulla horrors!

Isildur stopped in Mordor fulla terror!

Tried to drop it in Mordor full of horror!

No, oh, oh, no-oh!

**Nazgûls:**

Sauron's Ring, what a creepy thing

To be possessing!

Sauron's ring, he possessed this thing

And he died!

**Witch King**:

Sha-la-la, stop right where you are!

Don't you put on the Ring!

We're bettin'…

**Nazgûls**:

Tellin you, we're bettin

**Witch King: **

Tell your hobbit something's gonna get him!

He better

**Nazgûls**:

Everybody better

**Witch King**:

Beware!

**All**:

Mordor, Mordor's fulla horrors!

Bop sh-bop, you can't every stop the terror

Mordor, Mordor's full a horrors!

No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!

* * *

**And I promise I will do more requests!**

**BlackjackCF**: You have taken up, like two pages by yourself! Thanks sis... I think.

**Anawey**: Thanks!

**Mizamour**: Yay! I'm glad you sang it! I was singing too! And I can't really sing all that well! Broken windows everywhere... WAAAHOOOO!

**surf all day and do the hula**: Oliver is hilarious, though, especially when I watched it... hmm... perhaps you did not have boys pretending to be him... lol...

**randomrohanfreak**: I wanna do "It's not Easy Being Clean," but iono the lyrics... o well, you already gave me so many great ideas!

**SimplyChristine**: Okie dokie. I will try and do "Down Once More" to my best ability. Thanks for reading!

**QueenofFlarmphgal**: Thanks! I will update again!

**Tziporah**: Gracias!

**Elvin BlueEyes**: Yeah, I already did "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Check some of the other chapters. It's not about Frodo and Sam, actually. Sauron sings it... tee hee!

**Maidenhair**: You're Alive!

**Erin and Sarah**: Yay! You like them! I hope you read more and keep reviewing!

* * *

**And more to come!**


	37. Edoras

**Author's Note: Okay, I know this is not really a musical, but I _loved_ the movie, and I just had to do it, so just hang in there. LOL... oh, and I can't respond to reviews anymore because of the new rule on Fan Fiction. I know, it sucks, but sorry. Hopefully, it gets lifted soon.

* * *

**

Edoras

Sung by: The People of Edoras, Théoden, Wormtongue, Éowyn, Éomer, the Four, etc.

Take off of, "_Halloween_"

_NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS_

**People of Edoras**:

Legolas, Gandalf, and Gimli

Aragorn, too, has now come to see!

Come with us because, because

This is our town of Edoras!

**Soldiers**:

This is Edoras, this is Edoras,

Horses love it in our land!

**Éomer**:

This is Edoras, everybody's in a fuss

It's because our King Théoden's mind is now sand

It's our town, no one's happy 'cause,

This is the town of Edoras.

**Hama**: (_To L, A, Gi, and Ga_)

I am the one guarding Meduseld

With all of you, my king has dealt!

I am the one guarding these double doors

Give me your weapons, and entrance shall be yours!

(_They hand over their weapons_)

**People of Edoras**:

Edoras! Edoras! Edoras! Edoras! Edoras!

In this town we all call home

Everyone hail to the one Wormtongue!

**Man**:

In this town, don't we hate it now?

Everybody's waiting for the next attack!

**Hama**: (_Leading the four into Meduseld_)

Round that corner, man perching on the stairs can

Control you all, he can pounce, make sure you pause!

**People: **(_Outside_)

Pause! This is Edoras!

Horse and rider, what is its?

**Hama**:

Aren't you scared?

**Wormtongue**:

Well, that's just fine

Say it once, say it twice

Take the chance and roll the dice

Here is Lathspell in beggar's guise.

**People**:

Lathspell, what is this, Lathspell, what is this?

In our town of Edoras?

**Wormtongue**:

I am the counselor with honey-forked tongue

Friend of Saruman, of whom you've all sung

**Saruman **(_Through Théoden_):

I am the shadow of Rohan's king

Determined to posses and obtain the Ring

**Éowyn**:

I am the niece, Éowyn, of our king,

Cold as a morning of an early spring.

**People**:

This is Edoras! This is Edoras!

Edoras! Edoras! Edoras! Edoras! Edoras! Edoras!

Edoras!

**Gandalf**: (_To Théoden_)

I command you out of there!

Saruman, challenge me if you dare!

**Saruman **(_Through Théoden_):

I hold power, because, because,

I now control all of Edoras!

**People**:

In this town, don't we hate it now?

Everyone's waiting for the next attack!

**Gandalf**: (_To Saruman_)

Gandalf the Gray will get you away!

You scream like a banshee

Make you jump out of his skin

This is Edoras, you have no power, 'cause

You must make way for the rightful king of Rohan!

(_Saruman is removed_)

**People**:

Théoden is king of field and fen

Everyone hail to the Rohan king now!

This is Edoras, this is Edoras!

Edoras! Edoras! Edoras! Edoras!

In this town we call home

Everyone hail to the one Théoden!

La, la, la, la! Edoras! Edoras! Edoras! (etc.)

* * *

**And more to come!**


	38. Finding Sammath Naur

**Finding Sammath Naur**

Sung by: Elrond

Take off of, "_Climb Every Mountain_"

_SOUND OF MUSIC_

**Frodo**: (_Spoken_)

Elrond, how will I get to Sammath Naur?

**Elrond**: (_Spoken_)

Why, you must climb Mordor's mountains, Frodo!

(_Sung_)

Climb Mordor's mountain

Search high and low

Follow all the lava

And paths you do not know!

Climb Mordor's mountain

Find it all afar!

Follow every meltdown,

Till you find Sammath Naur!

Sammath Naur will need

The ring, if you can give!

Every day of your life

Has prepared you for this!

Climb Mordor's mountain

Find it all afar!

Follow every meltdown,

Till you find Sammath Naur!

Sammath Naur will need

The ring, if you can give!

Every day of your life

Has prepared you for this!

Climb Mordor's mountain

Find it all afar!

Follow every meltdown,

Till you find Sammath Naur!

**

* * *

Thanks for the reviews, everyone. But since I'm not allowed to respond to reviews on this site, I will try and email everyone that reviews. Thanks again!**


	39. It's Not Easy Being Short

**I know this isn't really a musical, but I had to do it because it was just soooo funny! Thank you for the reviews, and thanks for the idea, randomrohanfreak!

* * *

**

It's Not Easy Being Short

Sung by: Gimli

Take off of, "_It's Not Easy Being Green_"

_THE MUPPETS_

**Gimli**:

It's not easy being short!

Having to spend each day smaller than Orcs!

When I think it would be nicer being tall, or big, or long

Or something much more bigger than me!

It's not easy being short!

It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary dorks!

And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water or stars in the sky!

See, short's half the size of an Orc!

And short can't be tall and good-looking!

And short can't be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a stork!

But short is all there is to be

It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?

Wonder, I am short, and it'll do fine, its' beautiful!

And I think it's what I want to be!


	40. Pelennor!

**Pelennor**

Sung by: All Fighting in the Fields of the Pelennor

Take off of, "_Aquarius_"

HAIR 

**Good guys:**

When the Haradrim rides the Mumakil

And Corsairs sail the ships of war,

Then hope will have fallen down

And war is at your door!

This is the battle of the Fields of the Pelennor

The Fields of the Pelennor

Pelennor!

Pelennor!

Bad guys: 

Armory and overtaking

Archery and swords for thursting!

No more peace, only derision!

**Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn**:

Help from the dead, dreams or visions?

Come fulfill this revelation!

For the people's liberation!

Pelennor!

Pelennor!

**Good guys**:

When the Haradrim rides the Mumakil

And Corsairs sail the ships of war,

Then hope will have fallen down

And war is at your door!

This is the battle of the Fields of the Pelennor

The Fields of the Pelennor

Pelennor!

Pelennor!


	41. The Old Forest

**Well, I suppose that these songs are getting slightly boring, as there happen to be so many of them. But wait! Don't turn me off of your faves list yet! I will come up with a few more songs and start writing the actual musical to it... even though there already is a LotR musical... LOL... I guess I'll just make it a parody musical! Yeah! Woot woot! Anyway, please be patient and endure the rest of these songs... I will try and find an order for all of them!

* * *

**

The Old Forest

Sung by: Tom Bombadil

Take off of, "_Beauty and the Beast_"

_BEAUTY AND THE BEAST_

**Tom Bombadil: **

Trees as old as time  
Moving all around!  
They are all my friends!  
They sway and they bend  
Unexpectedly.  
Oh, they like to change!  
Moving without a sound!  
I know you are scared,  
For you are not prepared  
For the Old Forest!  
Never just the same!  
Ever a surprise!  
They were here before  
Ever just as sure,  
As Ring you have!

**Frodo: (Gasps)**

**Tom Bombadil**:

Trees as old as time  
Come with me along  
My path to my house  
Quiet as a mouse!  
Oh, you did not wrong!  
Certain as the elves,  
Passing into the west!  
Trees as old as time,  
Older than this rhyme,  
Is the Old Forest!  
Trees as old as time,  
Older than this rhyme  
Is the Old Forest!

* * *

**Huzzah! Just a few more to go!**


	42. Paths of the Dead

**Sorry everyone that likes these songs, but I will soon be ending them. Perhaps I will in another song or two, but I will definitely start writing a musical for this! Yay! It'll be a parody, because, of course, these songs are much too silly to make the actual musical in any way a drama. Anyway, here's another song for you!

* * *

**

Paths of the Dead

Sung by: King Théoden, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli

Take off of, "_America_"

_WEST SIDE STORY_

**Aragorn**:

King Théoden,

Congrats on Helm's Deep.

But Gondor still needs protection.

Always the Mumakil growing

Always the old Orc horn blowing.

**Théoden**:

Lord Aragorn

You helped in Helm's Deep.

We won because of your selection.

Always the horses are neighing

Always the long grasses swaying.

And the men are saying

That you are slaying

Their chances of winning.

Why don't you stay with the Rohirrim?

You mustn't just go on a whim!

**Aragorn**: (_Spoken_)

But I must…

**Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli**: (_Sung_)

We have to go to Paths of the Dead!

Do you not know the Paths of the Dead?

Friends or foes in Paths of the Dead?

Either way we go to Paths of the Dead!

**Aragorn**:

I must do this for I'm heir.

**Legolas**:

We also need to fight Corsairs!

**Gimli**:

We need the Dead to help us!

**Théoden**:

Most likely you'll end up dust!

**L, A, G**:

All of those men in Paths of the Dead

We go to the den in Paths of the Dead

They help us offend in Paths of the Dead

The question is when in Paths of the Dead.

**Aragorn**:

They'll answer to the sword of the heir.

**Legolas**:

They can't say no to that there!

**Gimli**:

So now do you think that it's fair?

**Théoden**:

I think you'll be killed by the Corsairs!

**Men and T**:

You will be killed in Paths of the Dead!

It's not a thrill in Paths of the Dead!

Graves are filled in Paths of the Dead!

Funeral bills in Paths of the Dead!

**Legolas**:

I'll impress them with my arrows!

**Théoden**:

Most likely they'll cut off your toes!

**Gimli**:

I'll get them all under my axe!

**Théoden**:

Why can you all not just face facts?

**L, A, G**:

Here we go to Paths of the Dead!

We'll say hello in Paths of the Dead!

Perhaps they know in the Paths of the Dead!

How to defeat foes in the Paths of the Dead!

**Aragorn: **

So here we go on those Paths!

**Théoden**:

Well, I guess if you must pass….

**Aragorn**:

We will leave you with a sigh.

**Théoden**:

If you go, then we must say… Good-bye!

(_Dance number_)


	43. Oral Hygiene

**I'm sorry, everyone, but this will be my _last song_... That is, unless I come up with another one! But enjoy, and sorry for the wait!

* * *

**

Oral Hygiene

Sung by: Merry, Pippin, and the Mouth of Sauron

Take off of, "_Prima Donna_"

_THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA_

**Merry**:

Mouth of Sauron, ambassador, my lord,

Your teeth are big, your lips are chapped, you need lip balm!

**Pippin**:

When gingivitis takes over your gums,

The only solution is deep cleaning!

**Merry**:

Mouth of Sauron, please don't speak anymore!

Here is some floss, brushing's no loss, you need a dentist!

**Pippin**:

Please don't deny the braces' straight'ning,  
Use oral hygiene for your king!  
**Merry**:  
Mouth of Sauron, your hygiene has defects,

We know you brush, but not enough, please we beg you!

**Both**:

This of the germs' cries of undying bad breath!

Vitamin B is what you need for strong teeth!

**Pippin**:

Mouth of Sauron, we're all about to die

**Merry**:

Please close your lips, the braces fit, oh which color?

**Both**:

Look how they shine in that light of Mordor

Go to the orthodontist once more!

**Mouth of Sauron**:

Who'd believe deceivers only here to relieve a hobbit boy

Who's gone and ran into Mordor

Him and the other, now dying together.

However, I'm not pleased, candy has rot my teeth,

If we get away after the war today

I will allow you two to take me home with you

And perhaps give me a brush, and give my teeth a flush, in a dentist's office!

**Merry and Pippin**:

Mouth of Sauron, oh now, we're very pleased!

Brushing is fun, when this war is done, we'll give you headgear!

Then you can smile with sparkling teeth,

**All**:

The Mouth of Sauron has HY-GIENE!

**The End**

* * *

**Don't worry, if you liked this, I will continue to write songs and include some of these songs into a new Lord of the Rings Musical! Since this is my last song, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed. The list includes: (hopefully I'm allowed to do this)**

Maidenhair, Tziporah, Elvin BlueEyes, randomrohanfreak, Mizamour, Syen, BlackjackCF, Phantom'sJediBandieGirl, Kd7sov, surf all day and do the hula, QueenofFlarmphgal, Anawey, HH-Dream Puppy, merrymagic, the-burglar, Erin And Sarah AKA Merry and Frodo, Simply Christine, lulu belle, Elven hope, Daelena, Coolio02, Jousting Elf with a Sabre, pimpernelunderthecelticmoon, Sarah Schonburg, Faerlas, Araiona Dubois, Caire, Brothers Grimm, philfan05, and PeregrineBlue...

Phew! That was a long list! But thanks so much for reviewing, you guys!


	44. Orcs' Dream Come True

Ok. Fine. I lied. I just couldn't resist another song parody, and when I saw that I did not do a song from the amazing musical, _Rent_, I just HAD to do it! Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this song, even though it's about a million years late!

**

* * *

**

Orcs' Dream Come True

Sung by: Grishnakh and Ugluk

Take off of, "_Seasons of Love_"

RENT

**Grishnakh**:  
525,600 hobbits, 525,000 men flesh roasting.  
525,600 hobbits - how do you eat 'em, eat 'em and sing?  
With dwarf toes, with elf ears, with pig's blood, with cups of whiskey?  
With raw meat, with salt, in Rohan, with a knife?  
With 525,600 hobbits – how long to eat them, a year in my life?  
This is my dream! This is my dream! This is my dream! Eat 'em in my dream!  
My dream come true!

**Ugluk**:

525,600 hobbits! 525,000 dwarf legs to prune.  
525,600 hobbits – now can you turn off the light of the sun and the moon?

(_The hobbits escape and the Riders of Rohan come and destroy their ranks_)

**Grishnakh**:

But I have now learned,

That hobbits do bite.

My body's being burnt

And in reality, I've died!

**Both**: (_As they are burning_)

It's time now to sing out,

Thought this story's not ended, let's celebrate, and dream about the meals of hobbits…

Dream come true!

Dream come true!

Dream come true!

Wish it were true!

My dream come true!

My dream come true!

* * *

I don't know if there will be another song. Anyway, I won't update every day like I used to. I'll just do it when it comes into my mind to write another song! LOL!

Please review! My goal right now is 300, so if you reading this... be nice and leave a review!


	45. Gondor It Must Be!

**Sorry about not updating... lots of stuff to do. But of course, when I found that I loved Wicked, I just _had _to doa song from it! So enjoy!

* * *

**

Gondor It Must Be!

Sung by: Merry, Gandalf, and Pippin

Take off of "_Defying Gravity_"

_WICKED_

**Merry**: (_Spoken_)

Pippin, why couldn't you have kept your hands to yourself instead of itching for the Palantir?

(_Sung_)

I hope you're happy!

I hope you're happy now!

I hope you're happy how you

Hurt the journey of Frodo,

You are such a dodo!

**Gandalf**: (_To Pippin as well_)

I hope you're happy!

I hope you're happy too!

I hope you're proud how you

Thought it was a sensation

To go through Sauron's interrogation!

**Both**:

And though I can't imagine how,

I hope you're happy right now!

**Pippin**: (_Spoken_)

Merry, just listen to me. I already said I was sorry!

(_Sung_) I know I've offended a Wizard,

What you've worked and labored for,

Might all be lost and damaged.

**Gandalf:** (_Spoken_)

Precisely!

(_Sung_) Obviously you don't want to…

You don't want to…

Win this war!

**Pippin**:

Something looked inside me,

I think it was the Eye!

It asked me my name, I said it,

I just couldn't lie!

Too late for second chancing!

Too late to kill that creep!

**Merry**: (_Sarcastically_)

So you just trusted your instincts?

And took that first leap?

**Gandalf**:

I do implore,

Gondor, it must be!

Nothing more,

Gondor, it must be!

We must not make a sound!

**Pippin**:

Can't I make you understand?

I saw him burning the land of….

(_Spoken_) Gondor!

**Merry**:

I'm through accepting excuses!

Cause you give them all the time!

I think you'll never change!

Are you still a friend of mine?

**Gandalf**: (_cuts in_)

Too long we've been afraid of

Losing war we may have lost

Well, if we've lost,

It might as well be at their cost!

I do implore

Gondor, it must be!

What are you good for?

It's Gondor, it must be!

We must not make a sound.

(_Spoken_)

Pippin, come with me. We must think of what we must do: together.

**Pippin**:

Sep'rated.

Merry, now, we're sep'rated.

Merry we were the greatest team

There's ever been,

Merry,

Now, we're split forever,

**Merry**:

Oh, no, not forever!

**Both**:

But on to this fight we cannot win!

What're we in for?

Gondor, it must be!

We must explore!

Gondor, it must be!

**Gandalf**:

We must not make a sound!

(_Spoken to Pippin_)

Well? Are you coming?

(_Sad music_)

**Merry** (_To Pippin, gently_)

I hope you're happy,

Now that you must go on this

**Pippin**:

You too.

I hope you survive this.

**Both**:

I really hope we win it,

And don't live to regret it!

I hope we're happy in the end

I hope we're happy, my friend:

**Gandalf**:

But here comes the Nazzy's

Out from the eastern sky!

As Sauron showed us lately,

All of them now know how to fly!

Even if they're flying solo,

They'll catch up to me,

I need one to accompany me,

Pippin, you must come with me!

**Pippin**:

I do implore,

Gondor, it must be!

Nothing more,

Gondor, it must be!

And now we must not make a sound!

**Merry**:

And here I'll be, in Rohan,

Waiting here, till you're done,

Come and tell me what you're found!

**Pippin**:

I hope you're happy!

**Gandalf**:

Come on now, Pippin!

Pippin!

**Merry**:

What you've found1

**Gandalf**:

We must leave, now Pippin!

So we'll tell him what we've

**Merry**:

Ahh!

**Gandalf and Pippin**:

Found!


	46. Tomb!

**Author's Note: So, here's another song that I came up with. I think this was an 80's musical. Anyway, I heard someone with an amazing voice sing this song, and I knew that I just had to do it!****

* * *

**

**Tomb!**

Sung by: The Fellowship

Take off of: _"Fame_"

_FAME_

**Aragorn**:

Gimli, look at this,  
And tell me what this is.

**Gandalf**:  
You ain't seen the worst of this yet!  
Give them time, we hope in peace they rest  
**Gimli**:  
Are there more in here?  
Bones, oh bones, I fear!  
Will I find anyone alive in this?  
Don't you know what this is?  
**All**:  
Hope we get out of here soon!  
Tomb!  
We might be here forever  
How is it we will not die?  
Die!  
We feel it coming upon us,  
If I look again, I'll cry!  
Tomb!

(_Looking down at the dead dwarves_.)  
I hope they make it to heaven  
We can feel impending doom!  
Tomb!  
**Boromir**:  
We might be here forever!  
Gimli remember we may die!  
**All**:  
Remember  
Remember  
Remember  
Remember  
Remember  
Remember  
Remember  
Remember  
**Legolas**:  
Gandalf let's take flight,  
Cause that's how we can make it right  
We must run straight up to the top  
Wet must all help, 'cause that's all we've got to give  
**Frodo**:  
Gandalf, I'll be tough  
Too much, it's all enough  
I promise you, I won't break  
Ooh I got what it takes  
**All: **(_Spoken._) This is a…

Tomb!  
We might be here forever  
How is it we will not die?  
Die!  
We feel it coming upon us,  
If I look again, I'll cry!  
Tomb!

(_Looking down at the dead dwarves_.)  
I hope they make it to heaven  
We can feel impending doom!  
Tomb!  
We might be here forever  
We can feel impending doom!  
Tomb!

* * *

**Please please please review so that I can get over 300 reviews for this fic! Please! (Makes puppy dog eyes.) **


	47. The Ring Is For Me!

**Thanks for reading still! Took me forever to come up with this song, and I hope that all of you have watched Rent! (If you haven't, I know some theaters still have it!)**

* * *

The Ring For Me!

Sung by: Faramir, Mablung, and Frodo

Take off of: "Today 4 U'

_RENT_

**Mablung: **

Gentlemen, our ring bearer on this fated day

Whose charity is only matched by shortness, I must say.

Along with his gardener, Sam, his bodyguard

Frodo Baggins… our ward!

**Faramir **(_To Frodo_):

Freedom for you—The Ring is for me!

(_Music_)

Freedom for you—The Ring is for me!

**Frodo:** Hey, I didn't agree!

**Mablung:** (_Quickly covering Frodo's mouth_) Oh, he's so willing, you see!

**Faramir:** (_Whipping his cloak and two swords around very flamboyantly_)

It was my lucky day today when I walked down this way,

When I overheard these hobbits, oh what did they say?

(_Pointing at Frodo and mocking him in a high pitched voice_)

He said, "Darling, don't you see, that is Oliphaunt pee.

We need to get away from these Eastern Orcs, Sam Gamgee.

This Gollum slash Sméagol just won't shut up.

He made us walk non-stop, this sucks,

I'll breathe my very last, high-strung breath,

I'm certain this Ring will make me meet my death."

(_Becomes very excited and starts to dance_)

Freedom for you—The Ring is for me!

Freedom for you—The Ring is for me!

We agreed a fee—His freedom guaranteed

For me – And the Ring if I don't make them bleed.

Now who could foretell that it would go so well?

For as sure as we are here, that Ring is now for show and tell!

**Frodo**:

After this war, this ring, will end our story,

It must go o'er the edge to redeem your glory.

Like Elrond and Isildur during the Second Age,

I've got go to Mordor and disengage!

**Faramir**:

Freedom for you—The Ring is for me!

Freedom for you—The Ring is for me!

**Mablung**:

Then back here we came, when we began this game,

Where they were moaning and groaning over Gollum's name.

We took him to the pool to make him redeem his jewel,

And we caught Gollum and learned of this Ring's fame!

**Faramir**:

Sing it!

**Faramir and Mablung**:

Freedom for you—the Ring is for me!

Freedom for you—the Ring is for me!

Freedom for you—the Ring is for me!

Freedom for you—the Ring is for me!

* * *

**Please review and thanks for reading!**


	48. Gandalf the White

**Snickers**

**I can't believe my sister and I came up with this...**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it, since I'm finally starting to write songs again... hahaha... I guess I need to screw my head on a bit tighter... **

**

* * *

**

**Gandalf the White!**

**Sung by**: The Balrog and Gandalf the Gray

**Take off of**: "Popular"

_Wicked the Musical

* * *

_

**Balrog**:  
(_spoken_) Gandalf – since we're falling together, I've decided to make you my new project.

**Gandalf**:  
(_spoken_) You really don't have to do that.

**Balrog**:  
(_spoken_) I know. That's what makes me the Balrog!  
(_sung_) Whenever I see someone  
Less powerful than I  
And let's face it - who isn't  
Less powerful than I?  
My twittering wings  
Twitter right off beat.  
And when someone needs a power upgrade  
I simply have to have a say  
I know, I know exactly what they need  
And even in your case  
Though you're the toughest case I've yet to face  
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed  
Get under my feet,  
And yes, indeed  
You will be:

Gandalf the White!  
You're gonna be Gandalf the White!  
I'll teach you the proper ploys  
To deal with your new toys  
All you have to first do is die,  
I'll show what robes to wear  
What color to do your hair,  
Everything must first be right

To be Gandalf the White  
I'll help you be Gandalf the White!  
You'll hang with the right cohorts,  
No more men in shorts,  
Know the spells you've got to know  
So let's start  
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:

Don't be offended by my frank analysis  
Think of it as Istari dialysis  
Now that I've chosen to be come a pal,

Asis-tant and killer  
There's nobody fitter  
Not to make you Gandalf the White-  
You can be Gandalf the White

And with an assist from me  
To be who you'll be  
Instead of dreary drabs of gray, now WHITE!  
There's nothing that can stop you  
From becoming Gandalf the White!

La la la la  
We're gonna make  
You Gandalf the White

When I see depressing wizards  
With ugly-festering lizards,  
I remind them on their own behalf  
To think of  
Celebrated heads of state or  
Specially great communicators  
Did they have colors gray or brown?  
Don't make me laugh!

They were all White! Please -  
It's all about being White!  
It's not about aptitude  
It's the way you're viewed  
So it's very shrewd to be  
Gandalf the White  
You'll see!  
(_Gandalf strikes the Balrog, and it whacks him back in the head so that he has a great gash on his forehead._)  
(_spoken_) Why, Mr. Gandalf, look at you. You're perfect for Whiteness!

**Gandalf**:

(_spoken_) I think I'm going to die…

(_dies_)

**Balrog**:  
(_spoken_) You're welcome!  
(sung) And though you protest  
Your disinterest  
I know that I am right…  
You're gonna grin and bear it  
You'll be Gandalf the White  
La la la la  
You'll be Gandalf the White-  
Perhaps like Saruman the White  
You'll see!

(_dies as well_)

* * *

**Please review! Give me some ideas, and I'd like to know if this was the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen in your entire life... or was that the last song...? **

**Thanks for reading!**


	49. Lovely Lady

**Hello all! Summer is here and CrystalFNfire is ready for another round of hilariously stupid ripoffs of musical songs. Please, please, please review, everyone:D**

* * *

**Lovely Lady **

Sung by: Gimli, Legolas, and Galadriel

Take off of "_Lovely Ladies_"

_LES MISERABLES_

* * *

_ (Scene: Gimli meeting Galadriel. He immediately falls in love._)

**Gimli: **

I see a woman,

See her over there!

I think I've dropped my ax

With her scent up in the air!

Lovely lady,

See her in the tree,

A life with bearded women

Can make you want more beauty!

**Legolas: **_(sighing_)

Even dwarves think she's prettier than me.

**Galadriel:**

Lovely lady,

With a husband who is fair,

He thinks he's really hot,

But there's really not much there.

Lovely lady,

Kinda needs new game.

Elves, or men, or dwarves

I guess they're really all the same.

Even ancients need a little flame!

**Gimli**:

Come here, you're fair,

I'd like a strand of your hair.

It's gold to me...

**Galadriel: **_(flattered)_

Master Dwarf, I'll give it to you.

I'll give you five.

**Gimli**:

That's far too generous, lady!

**Galadriel**:

I'll give you three. You seem like a handsome dwarf.

(_cuts off three strands_) It's all yours.

**Gimli**:

It's all I have...

**Galadriel**:

To remember me.

**Gimli**:

Please make it five!

**Galadriel**:

No more than three,

That's all you asked of me!

**Gimli**:

Lovely lady,

Standing in the trees

Waiting for a fast ship

Or the last ship to the seas

**Legolas**:_ (taunting Gimli_)

She's tall, you're short

Won't get you in her sheets

I guess you'll only get her

If you grow a few more feet.

Your head and her hips can't even seem to meet!

**Gimli**: (_caressing Galadriel's hair and ignoring Legolas_)

What pretty hair,

What pretty strands I've got here.

What luck I've got. It's worth the world to me, here.

(_To Legolas_) You've got no crock!

So don't tease me! Leave me alone!

**Legolas**:

Let's make a price!

I'll let you be my friend!

Just think of that.

**Gimli**:

He's so pretty.

**Legolas**:

Just think of that.

**Gimli**:

What can I do? He's so pretty.

And he wants to be friends with me!

**Galadriel**:

Lovely lady's

Hair is more pretty

Legolas is jealous,

'Cause he's uglier than me.

Lovely lady

Wants you to keep her hair

Shake your head at Legolas

Because I am more fair.

Come on, Gimli, we'll make a better pair.

**Legolas**:

Give me the hair. I've saved your life twice.

**Galadriel:**

I am more fair. And I haven't got lice.

**Legolas**: (_appalled_)

I don't got lice! I wash as much as I can!

**Galadriel**:

I wouldn't have known.

You smell just like a man.

(_Legolas begins to cry_.)

Lovely lady, wants you to keep it.

**Gimli**:

Lovely lady!

(_turns to the crying lady_)

Come on, Leggy, why all the fuss?

You're no grander than the rest of us.

Life has made you as smelly with lots of sore ends,

But don't worry. I'll still be your friend.

(_Legolas cries harder_)

**Galadriel**: (_evilly_)

That's right, Gimli, let him have the lot.

**Legolas**:

Alrighty, Gilly, I'll show you what I've got!

(_Picks up mud heap and throws it at Galadriel. She gasps as mud drips down her face_)

**Legolas**: (_gleefully_)

Old men, young men, you smell like all of them

Harbor rats and alley cats and every kind of scum

**Galadriel**: (_throws mud back at Legolas, who screams_)

Poor men, rich men, they all smell of horse

Smell 'em with their trousers off, and they're even more coarse

Now, you smell like all of them, of course!

**Legolas**: (_continues to cry_)

Lovely lady,

Pretends like she is grand

Got a lot of years on her

But she still plays in the sand.

**Gimli**: (_shocked and appalled_)

Come on, Leggy,

Let's get back to camp

Never knew Galadriel

Was always such a tramp.

Mud and gunk there, smelling of a shed

Just as well she doesn't see the hate that's in my head

Guess that's what happens when you fall in love

With someone who should be dead!!!!!!

(_Galadriel stand, mouth open, as Legolas and Gimli walk off, arm in arm, now the best of friends.)_

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Now please review! 3 **_  
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